ROFL Kingdom Hearts!
by MegaKiraraLover
Summary: Taken over! mix of crack and faint, background seriousness. ch.10: a mega-KILLER/living breakfast and a little schedualling problem! DISCONTINUED adopted by organizationsgirl
1. ROFL 1!

Originally from: Shinkutsuki

Story: ROFL Kingdom Hearts!

Notes: No plot line. Random updates. Enjoy!

Mmmmm-kay, this is basically the same, just with a few of my own preferences and a bit of proofreading. Enjoy!

-MKL

Roxas groaned for the eighth time.

Naminé rolled her eyes for the eighth time.

And Demyx smiled.

For the eighth time.

"Roxaaaaaaaaaassss!" Axel said, walking into the room and putting his hands on Roxas' head. The smaller blond male sighed deeply.

"I need help! I can't defeat Xaldin! Sora's too slow in healing," Axel continued to whine, bugging them as he had for the past THREE DAYS.

"Xaldin isn't that hard to defeat," Naminé stated.

"Yeah, apparently I'm the one most annoying to fight," Demyx muttered, remembering when Axel pestered him to defeat himself in the game.

"Aah. Don't feel offended. Timed fights are so...boring," Roxas pointed out.

"Ne! Please!?" Axel shouted in Roxas' ear.

"Ow! dammit! Naminé, did you spike his drink?" Roxas asked, moving away from Axel. Naminé shook her head, giggling when Axel started chasing Roxas around the room, (loudly) chanting, 'I want beer! I want beer!'

"Axel, you're so weird." Zexion said, walking into the room and sitting on the couch. Demyx bent over and grabbed something under the table.

Beer.

"Demyx, don't. Remember when you got drunk?" Naminé warned. Axel turned around with a scary look on his face reminicent of a prediter before it pounces on its kill.

"I SENSE YOU, BEER!!" he shouted, starting to chase Demyx around the room.

"MY BEER!"

"DEMYX, DAMMIT! GIMMIE!"

"MINE!"

"MINE!!"

"GAH, YOU'RE SO LOUD!"

"YOU ARE, TOO!"

"SHADDUP!"

"NO, YOU SHADDUP!"

"NO YOU SHADDUP!"

At this point, Naminé twitched and walked up to them. She grabbed the beer from Demyx's hands and growled, giving them each a good smack on the head.

"Axel, Demyx..." she said, sweetly, grinning.

"You're in trouble..." Roxas sing-songed with a triumphant look.

"You should both SHUT. THE. HELL. UP!!!" she screamed, whacking them through a wall in a rare display of violence. Then she calmly sat down, tossing the beer can to Zexion, who passed it to Roxas. Marluxia and Larxene stomped inside.

"What in the name of roses is going on here!?" Marluxia growled, summoning his scythe.

"Ah, beer!" Larxene said, walking up to Roxas, who gave it to her. "Ne, Roxas. You haven't had beer, have you?"

"No, I haven't. I'm 13, undera--" He got cut off when Larxene opened the can and stuffed the drink down his mouth. Roxas now had a half-smile thing and his eyes were glazed over. "Yum," he stated in a slightly slurred voice. "Yum..."

"Hey, Larxene!" Zexion shouted, talking the half empty beer can from her arms. "He's underage!"

Roxas hugged Larxene from behind. "Nee-chan, I want chocolate syrup..." he said in that same slurred voice. Larxene's  
face resembled...well...

o.O?

"Err...you want WHAT now?" she asked in annoyance, prying him off. He walked off to Naminé, hugging her from behind, which had her blushing. Zexion sat down and stared at the beer can. He sipped some.

"Ngh...disgusting," he stated, tossing it to Marluxia, who had been chasing Demyx around, as the blond kept on singing 'I want a hippopotamus for christmas!!'

"What in the hells is..." Marluxia turned it over. "Beer? Why do you have beer?" He stared over at Roxas. "And why is HE drunk?"

"Well..."Axel said, hugging Zexion who whacked him over the head. The redhead wasn't phased and continued to hang off of the younger man. "LarxenepouredhalfofthebeerdownRoxas'throatandit'sDemyx'sfaultbecausehe'stheonewhobroughtthebeer," he said, all in one breath.

Marluxia blinked. "I, uh...scared myself...I actually understood that..." His eyes widened in disbeleif. "Woah..."

"Why are YOU drunk?" Naminé asked Axel, having finally gotten out of Roxas' strong grasp. Her face was still red.

"Hehe...Roxas kissed meh." Axel replied. Everyone stared at him, then at Roxas (who was smiling at the wall with an odd look), and then back again.

"He...e-eh...?" Naminé asked.

"Ohmigawd, EW!" Larxene shouted, hiding behind Flower Power. (Marluxia: -wacks both authorsssss- MKL: owie!!! _**I**_ didn't write it!!! -T.T- so mean...)

"GOTCHA!" Axel said, giggling.

Zexion sighed.

"Wow, the pyromaniac knows how to giggle."

"He...Hi Zexion...-hic-" Roxas said, hugging Zexion from behind.

-twitch-

WHACK!

"Ow..." Roxas said, rubbing his bruised head. Zexion muttered something about 'the world and it's stupid, drunk maniacs.'

And the drunken night rolled on.

Oh yeah, did I mention that Axel COMPLETELY forgot about his game and defeating Xaldin?

"Oh yeah!" Axel shouted suddenly, then hugged Roxas. "Can you help me fight Xaldin?? His dragon thingie's stupid, then I die, and I have to get Mickey to come save me--but that sucks, 'cause, he's a rodent and all. I feel offended."

Roxas sighed.

"Ugh, fine..." he muttered in defeat, whacking Larxene on the head.

"Owwiiee!" she groaned.

"THAT'S for making me drunk." he stated, walking away.

"...Flowa Powa!" Marluxia shouted and ran off with them.

"Oh, can I come watch?" Larxene asked, bringing (er, dragging) Naminé.

"Yeah, me too!" Demyx shouted and ran off. Zexion, the only one left in the room, sighed and leaned back.

"Sweet, sweet, SWEET quiet..."

"ZEXION!!" came the cry of Vexen. Zexion shot up strait, eye wide and face paler than usual

"Oh...crap..."

"Zexion, did you EAT my OREOS again!?"

-DASH-

"Hey! Get back here!"

1-18-08


	2. ROFL 2!

Originally from: Shinkutsuki

Story: ROFL Kingdom Hearts!

Notes: No plot line. Random updates. Enjoy!

Again, basically the same. And again, enjoy!

-MKL

"Burn!!" Roxas shouted. The usual gang (Zexion, Marluxia, Demyx, Roxas, Axel, Naminé, and Larxene) were all sitting in Axel's room, and Axel was fighting against Larxene on DDR...

And loosing. BADLY.

"Man, you're getting beat by a girl," Zexion said, smirking. "Heheheh."

"Argh!" Axel growled. "You try it! It's too hard."

"No way. Dancing's not my thing," Zexion replied, drinking milk. Beer was banned from Axel's room, since last time he was drunk he almost burned down Castle Oblivion.

"Not me," Roxas stated, leaning back on the couch.

"I'll try," Naminé volunteered, standing up and going to the mat.

"I'm not going to go easy on you," Larxene said with a smirk as they started. They both went on heavy.

"Woah, heavy? Are you sure?" Marluxia asked, walking up and standing behind them. His hands were placed on his hips in a rather girlish fashion.

"Yeah, I've only played a few times, but this game isn't so hard," Naminé replied with a shrug. Larxene pressed the start button. Then they both started moving.

Almost perfectly.

"Whoooooooooaa!! Go Naminé!" Roxas shouted, standing up.

"Woah, dammit, Naminé! I'm not letting you beat me!" Larxene growled, making her miss some arrows.

"Sorry, you were saying?" Naminé taunted, smiling. Larxene growled.

"HEY!" Then she paced up.

But at the end, Naminé still won.

"Heh, Larxene. You got beat my the mute," Marluxia said, smirking. He drank some orange juice (MKL: why he would drink anything related to plants, we shall never know...).

"The mute?" Naminé asked with a surprised look.

"Well, you used to be so silent that we thought you were," Zexion replied softly. Axel smiled.

"Let's play Truthie or Dware!" he shouted.

BLANK STARE.

"Let's play WHAT now?" Demyx asked with a slightly shocked look.

"I think he got high," Larxene muttered, whacking him.

"Oww!" he groaned loudly, rubbing his head.

"You can't get high on Dortito chips, or milk, or juice," Demyx pointed out reluctantly. "He's not high."

"Aw, man! Well, anyways, who want to PLAY!?!?"

"Nothing else to do, so why not," Roxas said and sat back down on the couch.

"SHOTTIE STARTING!" Axel shouted. Everyone in the room just stared at him...again. "So, Naminé! Truth or dare?"

Naminé blushed. A bright, bright crimson. As in so bright it made Axel's hair look like it was pink. Weird.

"Truth," she responded in a quiet voice.

"Do you think I'm COOL?" he asked, smiling.

What a waste of oppotunity.

"Sure," she shrugged. Axel smiled serenely and walked to the window.

"What are you doing?" Zexion asked. Axel took in a deep breath.

"NAMINE THINKS I'M COOL!" he shouted to the world. Everyone sweatdropped. Multiple times for some.

"O...kay...then..." Naminé muttered. "Umm...Marluxia, truth or dare?"

"Dare," he said, being brave. She smiled.

"You sure?"

"Yup."

"And no turning back?"

"Yup!" He was completely sure that he wasn't getting anything bad. After all, Naminé's a goody good.

Too bad they never knew she's really evil when it comes to giving out Dare.

"I dare you to eat one of you plants."

GAPE.

"Eh...umm...Truth?" Marluxia tried again.

"Too late!" Roxas said quickly. "I'll go get a plant. Axel, come help me!" Axel skipped after him.

"I'll come too!" Demyx shouted and came out the door, only to be chased back inside. The others raised an eyebrow. "Threatened to burn me," he muttered. Zexion sighed and shook his head slowly.

"Wells, what now?" Larxene said tiredly. Then the door busted open and she blinked a bit. "...um...nevermind."

Axel and Roxas were carrying one of Marluxia's favorited kind of plant.

"Not my rose!!" Marluxia shouted, taking the plant and cradling it in his arms. "Mine!"

STARE

"What? I raised it myself!" Marluxia defended, swatting away Demyx's hand when he tried to snatch it from the taller figure. Naminé sighed.

"Either you eat it or I'l choose something worse," Naminé stated, grinning. "And I have PLENTY of ideas."

Marluxia hesitated while Roxas and Axel laughed loudly. What should he do? Eat his precious bitter-tasting flower he raised  
himself or...something WORSE. Duh duh dun!!!

Oh, God must REALLY be looking down on him today.

"Something else," he finally said.

"Oh! I have the perfect idea Naminé!!" Zexion suddenly shouted (everyone jumped; he NEVER shouted unless it was an emergency or he had found a breakthrough in something or another) and whispered slyly into her ear. Naminé grinned. And Marluxia gulped.

Yup, God really was looking down on him. FAR down on him.

"I dare you, Marly, to run around Twilight Town in only your boxers singing 'I feel pretty!'"

HORROR.

Marluxia twitched, while Larxene, Roxas, Axel, and Demyx were ROFL-ing (MKL: like it says in the title! -grins-). Zexion smirked and Naminé smiled innocently.

"You don't...umm...really...MEAN that...eh...right?" Marluxia gulped, hoping that this was some sort of demented dream.

"Oh, I do. Today. Roxas, could you make a portal please?" Naminé asked sweetly. Roxas took a few minutes to calm down, and raised his hand. A swirl opened and everyone walked into it.

Well, everyone but Marluxia. He started sneaking away.

"Oh, no you don't," Demyx said, pulling his arm. "You're coming."

"Oh god, this is gonna be hilarious!" Larxene said, smiling. She had a video camera, much to Marluxia's horror. Axel also had a camera, and Marluxia had heard Roxas and Axel's plan to post this thing up on Youtube. And Zexion?

Zexion had a plan to take about a thousand pictures and sell them on EBay for some extra cash.

Then to post them up on facebook.

"Oh jeez. Naminé, I hate you!" Marluxia cried out desperately, sobbing.

"Oh well! It's Truth or Dare. It was your choice to play. It was your choice to pick dare, and it was also your choice to do something else instead of eating your plant," Roxas pointed out, whacking the taller man over the head.

"Alright, Marluxia! Camera and video ready! And...ACTION!" Axel said, using the thingy where you pull the top thing up and slam it down to make the clikey noise. Marluxia grumbled and took off his robe. Naminé giggled and turned away, as did Larxene.

"I hate you guys so much," Marluxia muttered in defeat.

"Aww! We love you too!" Demyx said, smiling brightly. Zexion rolled his eyes.

"Speak for yourself," he said too low to hear.

"Okay, ready," Marluxia finally said, heart racing.

If there was a god of any sort in heaven, he would kill Naminé and stop this brutal torture.

Well, okay. Maybe not brutal. But it was embarrasing.

"Ready...and...go!!" Axel shouted and Marluxia ran out of the crack in the wall in his heart-covered boxers.

"Oh god," Naminé said, giggling as Marluxia made some girl with spikey brown hair and an orange T-shirt faint (MKL: guess who!).

"I FEEL PRETTY! I FEEL PRETTY!!" Marluxia shouted-sang, inwardly killing himself.

"A-air..." Larxene gasped. She clutched her sides, falling to the ground as she laughed so hard she was crying.

"Ahaha! Nice! Keep going Marluxia!! Only 5 more minutes!!" Naminé shouted over the screams of horror coming from women inside Twilight town.

"I FEEL PRETTY! I FEEL PRETTY!" Marluxia shouted again.

"Okay, now turn off the cameras and video cam and get his clothes--we'll leave without him," Naminé commanded/suggested, smiling innocently.

"I'll open the portal," Axel volunteered, grinning and raising his hand so the swirly portal opened again.

"Keep going, Marluxia!!" Zexion shouted one more time. Then they vanished into the portal.

5 HOURS LATER...

"Oh god, I'm tired," Marluxia panted in an alleyway, still in his boxers. He opened a portal and went back to the forest.

"So, Axel. Truth or dare?" Larxene asked. Axel was the only one who hasn't been humiliated yet.

Demyx had to go and seduce Saix, who whacked him over the head with his claymore.

Naminé had to shout to the world (Traverse Town, to be pracise), 'I'M A ?X&:)!!',

Zexion had to stand still while the others tickled him (which actually didn't seem to take much effort on his part), then he had to go to Vexen and say, 'I'm a pretty princess!'. Vexen had chased him out of the lab with a broom, shouting out something about 'stolen oreos' as he did so.

Larxene had to go to Travese town and flirt with the ugliest guy in town (coughmerlincough), then go shout to the world that she loves him.

Demyx had to overwater all of Marluxia's plants, and had to run around Castle Oblivion shouted 'I have a turkey on my head!' (the group was placing bets on how long it would take for the almighty pink-haired one to kill the smaller blond).

"Umm...well, everyone but me has chosen Dare--so Dare," Axel said with a bright smile.

Oh, he's gonna get it. Larxene whispered in his ear.

"I HAVE TO WHAT!?!" Axel shouted, stadning up from the couch. Marluxia banged open the doors.

"YOU LEFT ME THERE!!" Marluxia shouted, punching the wall and creating a dent. Only a few rooms in the place were Marluxia-proof, and they were mostly the public places.

"Umm...To be continued?" Naminé asked, pulling out a cardboard paper that said 'TO BE CONTINUED'. Marluxia took the cardboard and ripped it in half.

"No! The readers need to find out what Axel has to do!" Demyx shouted.

"Readers?" Axel asked.

MKL: Duh, yeah, the readers.

"Where's that voice coming from?" Zexion asked with an arched eyebrow.

Shinkutsuki: From the back of your HEAD! Moohahahahahaha!

"It's 'Mwahahahhahahaha'." Larxene corrected with a smile.

Shinkutsuki: Oh, whatever.

MKL: Now, Larxene, Axel, Roxas, Demyx, Marluxia, and Zexion's were erased by my super pie powers and they went back to discussing what happened.

"So, Axel. What do you have to do?" Roxas asked. The redhead sighed dejectedly.

"You tell," he muttered to Larxene.

"I told him to kiss Roxas and then run around Port Royale singing 'I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts!!'!" Larxene said innocently.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the whole room laughed. Insanely. (Well, except Zexion, and even then he had a smirk on his face like he had seen it coming. He probably had been clued in.) Axel...well...he went sorta like this:

o.O;

1-19-08


	3. ROFL 3!

Originally from: Shinkutsuki

Story: ROFL Kingdom Hearts!

Notes: No plot line. Random updates. Enjoy!

MMMM-KAAAAAAAY, last not-created-by-me one. Everyone enjoy! S3

-MKL

"I chicken out!!" Axel said, smiling serenely.

"Oh no you don't. Chicken and do something worse," Zexion pointed out, still smirking.

"Oh jeez...um...why...ngh...worse?" Axel finally questioned/stated, voice so weak a few people couldn't hear.

"Ooh, you sure?" Larxene asked. Axel gulped and nodded.

"Can I?! I have the PERFECT idea!" Demyx asked/shouted, jumping up and down. Larxene smiled, and nodded.

Demyx squee'd.

"I dare Axel to run around Halloween town in your winnie-the-pooh boxers singing and dancing to the chicken song! Then again in front of Xemnas!"

And once again, the whole group (except for Zexion and Naminé) went ROFL-ing. Zexion snickered and Naminé...well...she just kinda...went:

O.o;

"No!! Oh the HUMANITY!!" Axel cried, going on his knees.

"Humanity? We're nobodies," Roxas pointed out. Axel sighed and stood up, taking  
a deep breath.

"No!! Oh the NOBODITY!!" he corrected, going on his knees again. Naminé sighed, whacking him over the head.

"Nobodity? What kind of a word is that, Axel? Besides, we need to warp there. So please, don't make me whack you again. I feel drained because of your stupid loud noises," Naminé said, smiling like the innocent little flower she is. (Axel: Innocent my-- Shinkutsuki: BEEP!! Axel: What the-- MKL: PIE!!! Axel: --was  
that for?)

Axel sighed and raised his hand, making the swirly black portal thingy appear. Everyone walked inside.

Halloween town - Yuletide hill

"Oh, crap this sucks..."Axel groaned, undressing. Zexion had a camera (again), and Roxas, Demyx, and Larxene planned to put this on their facebook and Youtube.

Oh, what fun!

Not. (Well, for Axel)

"Remember, Axel! I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck, so kiss my butt! Got it memorized?" Naminé snickered, mocking his line.

"Got it memorized," Axel muttered in response. Zexion set up all the cameras and video tapes. He turned around with a nod to Naminé, who gave a bright smile.

"And...go!"

Axel went into the town square and started dancing.

"I don't wanna be a chicken I don't wanna be a duck, so kiss my butt, ha ha ha ha!" he shouted, starting to run around town while stopping at some random places to dance again.

"Oh...my..." Naminé gasped, laughing hysterically along with the group. Of course, that doesn't include Zexion. He just kinda went:

o.O;

"Keep going Axel!!" Roxas and Demyx shouted together. Larxene smiled--well, more like grinned like an idiot.

"Take more pictures!" Naminé said to Zexion, who sighed and did as he was told like a good little boy (Zexion: growl...! MKL: -snickers-). The Heartless suddenly appeared and started going after the group. Demyx sighed.

"I'll take care of this," he said, summoning some Dancer-Nobodys to get rid of the heartless.

"Uwaugh!!" Axel shouted, as the heartless went after him. The dancers attacked and accadently (not) whipped his face. "Ow!"

"Let's go," Roxas said and opened a portal. The all walked inside after Axel quickly changed.

The World that Never Was -- The Brink of Despair

"Hahahahaha!" the group laughed, except for Axel 'cause he walked to the empty corner labled in hot pink letters as 'Axel's Emo Corner.'

"I never want to do that again," he muttered, sulking babyishly.

"It's not done yet!" Larxene reminded him. Axel groaned, and walked to Xemnas' room.

He's gonna die. (MKL: Heheh.)

The World that Never Was -- In front of Xemnas' room.

"Ready Axel?" Demyx whispered to Axel. He got the camera ready this time, as Zexion had opted to stay across the hall and out of the way. Axel groaned.

"No," he muttered. He undressed to his boxers and the group hid, still peeking out. Axel slammed open the door. Xemnas looked shocked, turning up from some papers he was looking at.

"I DON'T WANNA BE A CHICKEN, I DON'T WANNA BE A DUCK, SO KISS MY BUTT, HA HA HA HA!"

And he danced. Badly.

Xemnas: -twitch-

Axel: -laugh nervously-

WHACK!!!

The group winced outside the door.

"That has gotta hurt," Naminé said despite herself. Larxene nodded in agreement. And it was at this point that the group decided to run away.

Axel was dead, and they didn't want to join him.

"Ugh...Sorry, sorry! It was a dare!" Axel groaned, rubbing his poor head. Xemnas twitched, eyes closed.

"Out."

"S-sor--"

"OUT."

Axel dashed away quickly, trying to save his own ass. He was pretty sure being alive was MUCH more better then a (EXTREMLY) painful death.

He sulked.

"I hate you all," Axel muttered, when he finally met the group, who was ROFL'ing. The doggie piled him. (Except Zexion, who smelt bloodlust coming close. He assumed it was Xemnas, but...)

"We love you too!" the group giggled/laughed/snickered.

And then the door slammed open to show...

...a very pissed Iced Queen, AKA Vexen. Zexion visibly paled.

"You ate my Oreos AGAIN! DAMMIT, ZEXION!!!" he screamed. The rest of the group turned. And thus...

-STARE-

-TWITCH-

-DASH-

"GET BACK HERE, ZEXIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNN!!!!!"

1-19-08


	4. ROFL 4!

Story: ROFL Kingdom Hearts!

Notes: No plot line. Random updates. Enjoy!

MKL: Hehehe, okay, now we get to my parts! Hope y'all enjoy, but this is my first humor, so be nice--although I do like flames. I make fun of them and then post them and my response up in the story. I hope I get one for this!!! -grins-

Ararik (muse): ...you scare me.

MKL: Yes. Yes I do. Now leave, or else face being shoved into the story!

Ararik: EEEP! -dashes away-

MKL: -grins- Hehehe. Yeah, that's right--be VERY afraid of me. Btw, this might not be the funniest chapter ever, since I do have school, but I promise that the next chapter (which should be up next weekend, if school permits) will be much better. Anypie! Time to start! -starts story as Ararik wimpers in background-

Ararik: ...she is the only thing that scares me...-whimpers-

"...what happened to HIM?" Axel asked dumbly, standing with the rest of the group (Marluxia, Demyx, Roxas, Naminé, and Larxene) and staring at the most shocking, most stupid, and most...well...INTERESTINGLY-AWESOME thing they had ever saw.

"I'm a Barbie girl! In a Barbie woooooooorld!!! Life in plastiiiiic, it's FANTASTIC!!!" Zexion shouted-sang, jumping up and down on the couch in the videogame room (which was a popular hangout where most of the story has gone on so far). His hair was shoved away from his face and pulled into two VERY messy ponytails tied back with lilac-purple ribbons that had hot pink stripes on them, and he was strumming with absolutely no rythem on Demyx's sitar. How he had gotten it was unknown.

But it left the group looking at him like this:

O.o;;;;;;;;

"Umm...Zexion...? Can I have my sitar back...?" Demyx questioned hesitantly. Zexion glared angrily and hit a particularly bad note that had everyone wincing and/or putting their hands over their ears.

"NOO! MY beer guitar!!!" he shouted in response before grinning so wide it looked like his slightly-red face would split. He started strumming and shout-singing the same three lines over and over again.

Once more, the group went:

o.O;;;;;;;;

"...did you get drunk?" Larxene asked incredulously. Marluxia had a strangely triumphant look, and this caused Naminé to make the connection.

"I guess Marluxia got his revenge for that dare..." she finally said, still staring as Zexion suddenly dropped the sitar (Demyx yelped loudly) and fell to the ground. He abruptly started gnawing on an orange pillow.

"ORANGES TASTE GOOD!!!" he shouted excitedly before returning to tearing the pillow to peices with his teeth. He suddenly stopped and a few people thought he was better before he abruptly spat out the peices and threw what was left of the spit-soaked pillow right in Roxas's face. The shortest of the group was the center of startled attention before the pillow slowly slid down his face, showing the Key of Destiny's bright red glower aimed at Zexion.

"I HATE ORANGES!!!" Zexion shouted loudly, glaring at the scattered peices of orange as everyone suddenly turned their gazes to him.

"Didn't you just say--" Axel started. Zexion litterally howled and glared, using his powers of illusion to make himself look like a feral wolf (MKL: I just learned about his power. I feels so special! -hugs self- Axel: ...right...).

"BUT I HATE ORANGES!!!!!!!!!!!"

Axel immidiately screamed like a girl and went flying to hide behind Marluxia, who was ROFL'ing.

"Ah, I take it the alcohol worked?" an amused voice said from the doorway. Everyone turned to see...DUH DUH DUN!!! VEXEN!!!!!

"YOU did this?" Naminé asked incredulously. Vexen gave her a slightly scary smirk.

"Not without a little help from..." DUH DUH DUN!!! "Marluxia!"

DEAD SILENCE.

"Uh...we already figured out he had a hand in it," Demyx muttered, summoning his guitar and then sighing in releif when he realized that Zexion's was just a replica. The very sight of the broken sitar, however, left Demyx mentally crying. Aww, poor Demyx. He needs a hug. -MKL gives air hug-

Demyx jumped and looked around with scared, wide eyes.

"What's wrong?" Naminé asked with sudden concern. Realizing that saying out loud that he had just felt someone with huge boobs and skinny arms hug him from behind would result in him being in the Happy Hotel, Demyx decided to shake his head (MKL: ...I don't really have big boobs...-T.T-).

"Nothing," he said quickly. Naminé seemed suspicious, but before she could say anything, Roxas let out a slight growl. He had major bloodlust issues, which he decided to turn on Vexen, ignoring Zexion when the pigtailed man started gnawing on the blond's leg.

"Tastes like chicken," Zexion stated in a slightly muffled voice. Axel and Larxene were the only smart ones, as they had already pulled out videocameras and trained it on Zexion before the whole pillow thing. Btw, Zexion still looked like a huge wolf...with pigtails. And did I mention the fact that he had died part of his hair green? 'Cause he did.

"That's it, I'm going to kill you," Roxas warned Vexen. The Iced Queen didn't look concerned, even as Roxas summoned his Keyblades.

"Good luck," Vexen muttered. He was gone when Roxas sliced air, dragging Zexion like the heavier man weighed only two pounds instead of...um...well, he'd kill me if I told you, so I'm going to shut up.

"I WANT CHOCOLATE-CHEESE!" Zexion shouted randomly, suddenly back to being human as he jumped to his feet. Roxas left to change his pants (btw, he still had his keyblades out) and Axel went with because...uh...yeah. You'll see later.

"You want what now?" Larxene asked incredulously, now holding two cams since Axel had left her with his. Zexion turned to her and seemed suddenly upset, tears welling up in his eyes as he glomped her. Larxene stumbled back with a yelp, dropping both cameras (which Marluxia decided to save, since he wanted to remember this forever...and use it for blackmail later).

"Larxeeeeeeeeene, you're so pretty," Zexion cooed. Larxene looked about ready to die as everyone else fell down, ROFL'ing. Marluxia decided that, in the future, stands for cameras would help. A lot.

Larxene seemed to recover, as she blushed a bright red and glared at him. She tried to shove him away, but his grip was like iron.

"Let go!" she whined/demanded, using both arms to try and push him away. Zexion seemed immune as he put his head right between her breasts. He sighed in contentment.

"I like you," he finally decided, muttering sleepily. Larxene's face became even redder and she redoubled her efforts, but they were in vain, even as Zexion started to drift to sleep. "G'night..."

And abruptly, he was snoring, although Larxene still couldn't push him off.

And the rest of the group?

"I'm not sure whether to laugh or stare mindlessly," Axel muttered as he and Roxas walked back into the room. Roxas simply smirked and shook his head, turning back around.

"Let's leave them to their moment...hahaha," he slowly started laughing.

Axel shrugged and followed as the rest of the group mysteriously fell asleep.

Meanwhile...

"Gee, that was boring," Sakuya complained. MKL shrugged.

"Hey, he was drunk," she pointed out. "Next chapter should be more exciting, but I've gotta go study for a test I should have been studying for earlier. Stupid test."

"Will he still be drunk?" Ararik demanded with a sour look. MKL grinned and nodded happily.

"Sleep is only temporary. It's what I do to my characters when I take a leave of absense!!!" -S3-

Ararik and Sakuya stared.

"...right..." Ararik finally muttered before turning around. He disappeared into the darkness.

"ARARIK-KUN, WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEE!!!" Sakuya whined, running after him.

And that left MKL to work on her studying.

1-21-08


	5. ROFL 5!

Story: ROFL Kingdom Hearts!

Notes: No plot line. Random updates. Enjoy!

MKL: Looking back on last chapter, it sucked. Royally.

Sakuya (muse): Yeeeeeaaah, but it was fun. For us, I mean.

MKL: ...because you guys got to come out of hiding, right?

Sakuya: -grins- Exactly! Besides, the readers liked it (ten reviews in less than twenty-four hours!!!), so obviously other peoples are happy with it! Sucky or not, you gained a new audience!

MKL: Hehehe. Sakuya, you're awesome. Anypie! This chapter should be a hulluva lot better. Everyone enjoy the new stuffs!!! -snickers-

Ararik: ...I correct my statement from last chapter: Both of you scare me...horribly...

Sakuya: -coos and glomps- Awww, you're so sweeeeet!

Ararik: -groans-

"I WANTS CHOCOLATE-CHEESE!!!" Zexion shouted for about the hundreth time since the group woke up two minutes (MKL: ...two days...) after they fell asleep. The group groaned for about the hundreth time since the group woke up two minutes (MKL: Two days!) after they fell asleep.

"Will you let go of me?!" Larxene demanded angrily...for about the hundreth time since the group woke up two minutes (MKL: TWO DAYS, DAMMIT!!!) after they fell asleep.

"NO!" was the pouted response.

"Hey, maybe we should do something to him," Axel suddenly suggested. He and Roxas had come back as soon as the yelling got loud enough to be heard from the later's room...on the other side of the castle.

"Like what?" Marluxia asked boredly. He still had the cameras, but they weren't running, just like they hadn't been since the group woke up two--

MKL: PIE DAMMED IT, DON'T SAY TWO MINUTES OR I'LL KICK YOUR STUPID BUTTS!!!

Again, Demyx jumped and looked around.

"Demyx?" Naminé asked with obvious concern. "Something wrong?"

And again, Demyx shook his head, shaking like a leaf.

"Let's put him in a dress!" Larxene suddenly suggested with a creepy smirk. Everyone turned to stare at her with wide eyes as Demyx continued to shake like a leaf.

"A...dress?" Axel repeated dumbly. Larxene nodded with a smirk as Zexion blinked slowly at the rest of the group.

"Yeah."

"High heels!" Naminé put in excitedly, jumping up and down as she clapped her hands and smiled.

"Make-up," Roxas added with a snicker. "Can't forget the make-up."

"Oh, and do his hair!" Marluxia put in, having turned on the camera the minute that he said, 'like what?'.

"We can sick him on Halloweeen Town," Demyx suggested with a grin.

"Give him a sitar!" Axel suddenly shouted. Everyone stared.

"Beer guitar?" Zexion whimpered, apparently trying to get in on the conversation. He was ignored, so (without letting go of Larxene's arm) he grabbed a phone and started chewing on the cord, his smile serene. "Mmmm, licorish..."

"WHY?" Roxas demanded. Axel grinned at them and gestured for everyone to come closer as Zexion was kept occupied by his...um...'licorish'.

"Okay," he started, "here's what we do..."

Five hours later...

"Wow, he's..." Naminé struggled to find the right word as she stared at Zexion, obviously as shocked as the rest of the group.

"He looks just like..." Axel tried, failing miserably to keep a strait face as his shoulders shook with supressed laughs.

"He looks just like Naminé!!!!!" Marluxia suddenly shouted, causing everyone (with the exception of Naminé, who scowled, and Zexion, who looked confused as he gnawed on a peice of pie someone had grabbed for him) (MKL: Mmmm, pie...S3) to start ROFL'ing.

Zexion really did look like Naminé, only slightly more guy-ish. His arms and legs were long and skinny like hers without the cloak blocking the way, and someone had shaved his legs clean so that they were free of hair. He was put into a soft, slightly sparkling yellow dress that accented his figure, although it hung a bit limply around his chest (MKL: coughcough), and it was in a style much like Naminé's, only with short sleeves. He had on a subtle bit of makeup that included sparkling lipgloss and a bit of black eyeliner (everyone suggested that he wear it for real), not to mention a light blush on his cheeks. The dye was washed out of his hair (that took most of the time) and allowed to fall around his face, but it was clipped out of his eyes with a sparkling yellow hair clip.

And, if you asked anyone in that room, he looked JUST LIKE A GIRL...only without breasts.

"I'm--going--to--die--!" Demyx said, half-giggling and half-laughing. He had once more heard the voice in his head that echoed his thoughts, but this time he ignored it. It was probably just nerves...right? (MKL: Pfft! Yeah, right.)

"You can't die, idiot," Larxene muttered, having recovered when Zexion nearly pulled her arm out of its socket. He had only let go long enough to put on the dress, but as soon as he was done, he found Larxene (who had hid in Axel's closet, GAG!) and latched onto her again. And he hadn't let go since, although he did occasionally find things to chew on...such as the fork he was chewing on now, since his pie was gone (MKL: AWWWWW!!! -T.T- Poor pie. 'Sall gone... Axel: You...! -pause- ...y'know, I'm just going to stop there before she decides to torture me... MKL: -snickers-).

"How do YOU know?" Axel demanded with a slight smirk, also having recovered. He was holding his camera again.

Larxene gave him a look, but before she could say anything, Naminé suddenly exclaimed, "Guys, we'd better go!"

Everyone turned to her and blinked slowly as she gave a disarming smiled. "What?" she asked innocently. "I just want to help..."

o.O;;;;

She was wearing all leather, with tight black pants and a corset-ish red leather shirt that stopped just high enough to cover what was needed and nothing more, resulting in a bit of shown cleavage (well, as much as she could show). Knee-high red boots with black trim and laces were tied securely around legs, and her hair was suddenly striped with blood red that matched her shirt, cool-styled sunglasses (MKL: Use your imagination.) perched low on her nose, and black leather gloves.

Again:

O.o;;;;

Finally, Axel seemed to snap out of his stuper and take on a big-brother role. "DON'T LEAVE HERE LOOKING LIKE THAT!!!" he squeaked-shouted, looking appauled. Naminé pouted a bit, her black lipstick making the action look slightly demonic.

"But I don't want Zexion to play alone..." she muttered softly.

"What can you PLAY?" Marluxia demanded to know. Naminé brightened and grinned at the group.

"Drums!" she said joyfully. Everyone else (minus Zexion) sweatdropped.

"Pretty black-striped lemon!" Zexion shouted randomly, giving Naminé a bright smile before continuing to gnaw on what was left of his spoon.

"Of course you can help," Demyx said, giving Naminé a slight wink. The blond looked thankful.

"Fine, but I'm going to stay until it's over!" Axel grumbled.

"She'll fit in better than Zexion..." Roxas muttered with a slight blush, looking away.

"Let's go!" Marluxia said brightly, turning around with his camera trained tightly on Naminé's cleavage. Naminé didn't notice, but Demyx did, and Marluxia got a whack on the head with a stray sitar. He crumpled and Demyx, whistling innocently, reached down to take the camera. He turned it off and no one seemed to notice (or they at least pretended not to).

"Axel, portal please," Naminé said dramatically.

"Of course, m'lady," he responded, his voice slightly dry (obviously in response to the outfit). He quickly opened a portal.

Ararik: Y'know, this isn't that funny yet...

MKL: -glares- THE CHAPTER ISN'T OVER!!! Wait until you hear the song and stuffs. -snickers-

Sakuya: Yeah, 'Rarik! Just because you're hot doesn't mean that you get to boss MKL around!

Ararik: -glowers- I don't like you, Sakuya. Get that through your thick head. I. DO. NOT. LIKE. YOU.

Sakuya: -unworried- Awww, you'll come around sometime, Ararik-kun! -sparkle/hearts-

Ararik: -groans-

MKL: -snickers- Anypie! Let's get back...

And so we see our little crew in Halloween Town, setting up for a concert that Demyx insisted on selling tickets to. They were sold out within minutes.

"Man, how many people has Zexion pissed off?" Axel asked incredulously, staring out from behind the curtain of the stage at the totally-cramped-beyond-beleif Town Square. The stage had to be cut down so that everyone could fit.

"Makes you wonder," Roxas snickered despite himself.

"Okay, everyone ready?!" Larxene asked with a slightly sour look. Zexion still hadn't let go of her arm, but he was suddenly looking alert.

"Play beer-guitar?" he questioned in a slight whimper.

"Yeah," Demyx responded with a bright smile. It was found that Zexion seemed to only listened to people who treated him nicely, which currently meant Demyx and Roxas. And Naminé, but she didn't count, since she's nice to everyone...unless she's pissed. And again, that doesn't count.

"So!" Demyx suddenly shouted, clapping his hands together for emphasis. The others didn't know that he was trying to get that damned voice out of his head again (MKL: ...I'm not sure if I should feel honored or insulted...). "Are we ready?"

"Lights!" Axel shouted, snapping his fingers. Fire lit up on either side of the stage just outside the curtain, and the crowd roared in anticipation.

"Camera!" Roxas added, flicking on a variety of cameras that were placed at various positions to get every angle imaginable. Mostly so that the YouTube video would look totally awesome.

"And ACTION!" Larxene shouted, ripping herself from Zexion's grip and practically flying into the curtains. She appeared on the other side with a grin and a microphone that had mysteriouslly appeared in her hand (MKL: -tucks plot hole into pocket, whistling innocently-).

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE UNIVERSE!!!" she exclaimed joyfully. A chorus of screams and whistles arose from the crowd before her and she patiently waited until they had died down before going on. "Tonight! I am pleased to bring you our musical guest, NUMBER VI, ZEXION, THE CLOAKED SCHEMER!!!"

Again the roar of the crowd as Larxene jumped away, disappearing into a portal of darkness and re-appearing next to Demyx off-stage with a smirk on her face.

The cutain rose dramatically, smoke billowing out. Zexion was positioned in front with a sitar in his hands and a microphone in front of him, with Naminé positioned in the background behind a drums set and Axel (reluctantly) standing as guitarist.

Zexion looked around for a moment, blinked, and then gave a smirk that was borderline-scary, borderline-happy.

"One, two, three, four!" he shouted excitedly.

And then, in a surprising feat, his fingers drummed expertly over the sitar's strings, creating a chord. Naminé followed it up with a quick beat and Axel blinked before grinning and beginning his part. Zexion flipped the sitar around and his outfit was amazingly changed into black leather jeans, a white muscle-shirt, a black leather jacket with a red "VI" on the back, and his normal black boots, his hair was back to normal (although it now had a blue stripe framing the side of his face), and then...

Zexion began to sing in an amazingly-great voice, hitting each note with such perfection it was almost scary:

_**"**__**Everytime you take a sip  
In this smoky atmosphere,  
You press that bottle to your lips  
And I wish I was your beer.  
And in the small there of your back,  
Your jeans are playing peek a boo;  
I'd like to see the other half  
Of your butterfly tattoo.  
**_

_**-**__**  
Hey, that gives me an idea:  
Lets get out of this bar  
And drive out into the country  
And find a place to park.  
**_

_**-**__**  
Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight,  
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks;  
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers,  
And I'd like to check you for ticks.  
**_

_**-**__**  
I know the perfect little path  
Out in these woods I used to hunt.  
Dont worry babe; I've got your back  
And I've also got your front.  
I'd hate to waste a night like this,  
I'll keep you safe you wait and see.  
The only thing allowed to crawl all over you  
When we get there is me.  
**_

_**-**__**  
You know every guy in here tonight  
Would like to take you home.  
But I've got way more class than them  
And that ain't what I want.  
**_

_**-**__**  
Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight;  
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks  
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers  
And I'd like to check you for ticks.  
**_

_**-**__**  
Oooh, you never know where one might be,  
And oooh, there's lots of places that are hard to reach…**_

_**-**_

_**Hey, I've got 'cha.  
**_

_**-**_

_**-**_

_**-**_

_**-**__**  
I'd like to see you out in the moonlight;  
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks  
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers  
And I'd like to check you for ticks.  
**_

_**-**__**  
Oh, I'd sure like to check you for ticks!"**_

Zexion finished with a dramatic sweep of his arms, striking the perfect chord as Naminé and Axel exchanged grins and finished as well.

And the crowd went wild.

...and Roxas, Demyx, and Larxene?

Well, to put it bluntly...

O.o;;;;;;;;;

o.O;;;;;;;;;

X-X

In that order.

"SO YOU WERE FAKING IT?!?!?!?!" Larxene screeched. Zexion continued to wear the smirk that hadn't left his face since he had started his song.

"Pretty much," he confirmed with a serious nod.

"Actually, not until after we started dressing him up," Naminé added with a laugh. She and Axel had been ROFL'ing since the group got back, especially when they had to drag Larxene most of the way back...because she had fainted from shock. "Remember when Axel had him alone to put on the dress?"

"Right after the hair," Axel continued, also laughing. "He freaked. Started yelling at me like it was MY fault that Marluxia and Vexen are freaks." (Btw, Marluxia's still out cold. And Vexen hadn't been seen since the concert, where he had also fainted. They just kind of left him there...so yeah.) "But then he got this weird look on his face and decided that he wanted to get you guys back for suggesting it."

"It was entertaining," Zexion stated with that smirk still firmly in place.

"Very," Naminé and Axel said at the same time, both grinning before they giggled and laughed again, respectfully.

"So wait," Demyx asked, paling. "He heard everything we said?"

"Everything," Axel confirmed, having recovered enough so that only his smile gave anything away.

"As in EVERYTHING?!?!" Larxene squeeked. Zexion chuckled and nodded, giving her a mischeivious smirk.

"That's right, Miss 'Ladies and Gentlemen of the Universe'," he said easily. He glanced at Roxas and added, "And Sir Recording-Everything-With-Multiple-Cameras."

"Oh, and by the way, Axel disengaged all of the cameras except for one before it started," Naminé said brightly. "The only one that worked is safely tucked away for future reference!"

"Oh God, kill me now," Larxene muttered.

"Ugh," Marluxia groaned, stirring on the couch nearby. Everyone turned to look at him, but no one noticed Zexion and Axel quietly sneaking out of the room. Flower Power himself (MKL: Remember that? I do! S3) was waking up and sat up strait, eyes suddenly going wide. "Ahhh! Did I miss it?!?"

"Yes," Demyx said brightly. "It was hillarious!"

"Yeah, Zexion totally had the whole crowd in an uproar," Naminé added with a soft laugh.

"Awesome," Roxas added, still slightly dazed. He never was good with pranks.

"No fair!" Marluxia whined, slamming his fist into the wall.

"Don't worry--Axel's going to bring him in for a repeat performance," Naminé giggled. Marluxia seemed to brighten at that little peice of news.

"Good. I didn't want to miss any of it!"

Knock, knock. Who's there? Dunno. Dunno Who? Read on to find out, stupid.

Demyx jerked, but didn't say anything.

"Come in--he's up!" Larxene said, catching on. Slowly, the door opened...

...and then Zexion came in, looking like he had before with a dreamy expression on his face.

"Play beer-guitar 'gain?" he questioned in a surprisingly-convincing voice.

"Yes, Zexi--play the 'beer-guitar' for Marluxia!" Demyx said, grinning widely. Zexion smiled brightly (everyone but Marluxia winced) before he lifted up the sitar. He opened his mouth to sing...

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, YOU BASTARD!!!" a demonic voice shouted from the hallway. Suddenly, in flew what looked like a flaming wyvern, with a single potted plant clutched tightly in its claws.

"Aaaaah, MY ROSE!!!" Marluxia cried (literally; he had MANLY tears of rage flying down his face...VERY manly tears of rage, IF YOU MUST KNOW...). He quickly jumped up and ran towards it as everyone else backed into the farthest corner of the room...and then he stopped mid-step, noticing Zexion's smirk.

"Ohohoh, you're not getting me this time," the botonist said with a superior look. "That's just an illusion, right? And he's not really drunk anymore?" He gave a barking laugh. "Nice try, but you can't fool me!"

"Ah, are you sure about that?" the wyvern questioned with a choaking laugh. It suddenly shot flames just over Marluxia's head, burning the top of his hair and causing a smoking hole in the wall.

Marluxia once more cried, but this time it was more feirce as he ran after the wyvern that was already flying out the door.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOT MY ROSE!!!!!! MY BELOVED SAPHYRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone in the room sweatdropped.

"...he named it..." Namine muttered with a sweatdrop that had to have weighed a good five pounds.

"...worse...he named it SAPHYRE..." Roxas shuddered, apparently ripped from whatever nightmare he had been having.

"How'd you do it?" Larxene asked with wide eyes.

Zexion smirked and dropped his illusion, showing that he was still wearing the clothes from the concert.

"The bird wasn't real," he pointed out. Another one flickered to life (only miniature) and began flying around the room, cawing softly like a bluejay. "An easy illusion to master. One of my first, truth be told."

"But the fire...?" Demyx asked, his eyes easily the size of saucer plates to match his ten-pound sweatdrop.

"That was me, thankyouverymuch," Axel said, coming in with a dramatic bow. He snapped his fingers and a small plume of flame shot from them and through the bird's mouth, creating a miniature effect of the big one that ended up making a mini-burn in the wall right next to the big one.

"Whoa, and when'd you decide to do THIS?" Roxas asked incredulously.

"Five minutes ago," Axel, Namine, and Zexion said in unision.

"Wow," Demyx said with wide eyes. "This has turned into my most interesting day here as of yet."

"I'm tired," Larxene suddenly said, yawning and walking out the door. "G'night, all. We'll review that footage in the morning, comprende?"

And then she disappeared, the rest of the group trailing not far behind.

MEANWHILE, IN SAIX'S ROOM...

"...I call," Saix deadpanned, throwing a couple of chips into the growing pile in front of him.

"Dude, this freakin' sucks!" Xigbar groaned, throwing his cards right next to said pile. "I fold!!!"

"Nothing is worth my 'life' savings," Xemnas growled, also throwing in his cards as he leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. "I fold as well."

"I'll call," Luxord announced with a smirk, tossing a few chips into the pile.

"You bet on everything," Xaldin scoffed. He'd folded a little while ago, as it turned out he had a seven-duce off-suit. The worst hand in Poker. EVER! He never was good at games of chance...

"And I win, more often then not."

"And the river," Xigbar said, grabbing the deck, burning a card (MKL: Not literally, non-poker-savvy peoples.). He tossed over the last card: An ace of spades.

"Full house, kings over sixes!" Luxord announced with a greedy laugh. He reached in to take the chips, but before he could, Saix's hand lightly touched the tip of his finger. The Gambler blinked before turning to his compeditor...and then groaning when he saw what the Berserker had.

"Royal flush," Xemnas muttered with a bit of awe.

"Whoa, Saix--you're good at this," Xigbar said with a blink. Saix simply smirked and took his chips, then started counting them out.

"Another hand?" Luxord asked, bouncing back easily enough as he expertly shuffled the deck.

"Only if Saix doesn't play," Xaldin stated.

"I have enough for now," Saix said easily, still couning chips. Already, he had at least two thousand counted out, and it didn't seem to be stopping any time soon.

"Then I think we're all in," Luxord noted as people started to ante up.

"I wonder what those idiots are doing now?" Xaldin absently wondered as Luxord began to deal.

"They HAVE been unusually quiet," Xemnas mused. "Usually they would have come in by now demanding we 'play' with them. As if tossing Zexion to them wasn't enough last time they begged."

"Which reminds me," Xigbar said, blinking as he glanced towards the door, "Mister Ice-Fag's usually here by now, ain't he?" (MKL: Please keep in mind that Vexen is my third-favorite Nobody. Right behind Axel and Demyx, and right before Xigbar. So anynicknames aren't to be taken offensively by fans/fangirls. XP) "He's the only one who can seem ta give us any sort of entertainment...well, since we threw Zexion to the masses, at least."

"Probably caught up in one of his experiments," Saix deadpanned, still counting his chips. "He normally is."

"Good point," Xaldin agreed.

"All right," Luxord announced, "let's start."

No sooner had they placed their first bets then...

"...UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dead silence.

And then--

"Was that...Number Eleven?" Xemnas asked, looking a bit dazed as the whole room stared at the door to the hallway.

"I'll go check on 'im," Xigbar sighed, shaking his head and tossing in his cards. "Didn't have anythin' good anyway."

He left as the rest of the room continued...

...then stopped dead-still in the middle of the hallway, staring at the sight before him.

It seemed that Zexion had finally gotten sick of his least-favorite member of the Organization, as Marluxia was desperately jumping up and down, clutching for air as MANLY tears of anger ran down his face.

"GIVE IT BACK, GIVE IT BACK!!!" he screamed, bunching up and taking a rather large leap. There was a yelp as he yanked back his hand and held it like it had been burned, whimpering like a puppy. "Oooow, that hurt...stupid fire-wyvern..."

A pause.

"Now that's just mean!"

More pause.

"UGH!!! LOOK, JUST GIVE ME BACK MY ROSE AND I'LL FREAKIN' LEAVE YOU ALONE!!!!!!"

And even MORE pause! X3

"DAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Um, Marluxia?" Xigbar asked hesitantly, a rather large sweatdrop climbing down his head. Marluxia turned around and seemed to brighten.

"Ah, Number Two!" he said excitedly. He started to turn around. "Look, Zexion took this thing into the castle! Do you think...?" His jaw dropped and he whirled around again with wide, disbeleiving eyes. "It was RIGHT THERE!!! I SWEAR!!!!!"

Xigbar sighed to himself. Oh Hearts, just like him to get stuck with a crazy while the others were probably drinking what was left of his beer stash. Dammit! That was no fair--he'd managed to smuggle it past Axel and Namine fair and square! THEY shouldn't enjoy the fruits of HIS labor!!!

"Did you forget Zexi's powers're over illusion or somethin'?" Xigbar asked boredly, leaning against the wall behind him. He idly began examining his nails. "Dude, you really need ta realize when he's got ya seein' things."

"But I KNOW it was there!" Marluxia objected angrily, turning around. "It burned my hair AND the wall, Goddammit!"

"Prove it."

Marluxia whirled around and nodded seriously before stalking down the hallway. "All right, I will. C'mon, I'll show you!"

Xigbar hesitated and glanced back at the room, hearing a series of groans as someone won (Xemnas, more probably than not--they reacted worse since the Superior was known to have a huge ego). He sighed in defeat and reluctantly followed Marluxia.

As he made a mental note to kill the pink-haired man if he was lying.

MEANWHILE (again), BACK IN THE VIDEOGAME ROOM...

"See?!" Marluxia announced before shoving open the door.

Xigbar poked his head in and sweatdropped. Profusely.

"Ahaha, go, Namine!" Axel shouted happily, pumping his fist in the air as he watched the only two females in the castle play...DDR. Again.

"C'mon, Larxene, c'mon..." Zexion hissed, eyes narrowed as he clutched a bag of money, glaring at the screen.

"I'll kick your ass this time, Mute!" Larxene shouted with an evil laugh. She promply stumbled and ruined her round.

"You were saying?" Namine asked expectantly. She didn't miss a step.

Suddenly, Roxas and Demyx seemed to notice Xigbar was in the room.

_'I did?'_ Demyx wondered before turning around at the same time as Roxas. _'Oh. I did.'_

"Hiya, Xigbar!" Roxas greeted with a snicker. "What're you doin' down here? Don't you normally play poker with the other guys right about now?"

"I was," Xigbar said with an easy grin. He turned to Marluxia, who was staring in shock at...an unmarred wall. "Now where's this 'proof' ya said ya had that this 'fire wyvern' was actually here?"

"I-it was RIGHT THERE!" Marluxia stammered, lifting a shaking hand to point at the wall.

"What was right there?" Demyx asked innocently as Namine and Larxene nailed the finishing move.

"Augh, I lost again!" Larxene complained.

"Shoot," Zexion muttered.

"Pay up, Pretty-Boy," Axel demanded with a grin.

Zexion muttered what sounded suspiciously like a profanity before handing over the bag he was holding. Axel opened it up and bit on the munny, then gave a bright smile.

"Okay, so it's not fake. Niiiiiiice. I can get a new motorcycle for this much." (MKL: ...mmmm...-smirks- Axel: -sweats- Uh, I think I should be scared right now...and running. I should definately be running. MKL: -still smirks- Axel: -runs away screaming- MKL: -eating sea-salt ice cream- Mmmm...yummy... -XD-)

"We're lookin' for some 'proof' that this 'fire wyvern' attacked him," Xigbar said with a roll of his eyes, making finger-quotes as he talked. Zexion blinked innocently.

"Fire wyvern?" he echoed before arching an eyebrow. He turned to Marluxia. "You do know those don't exist, yes?"

"You...you..." Maluxia looked dumbstruck before he turned to Xigbar with an angry expression. "He's obviously using his powers to hide the marks!!!"

Xigbar paused and scanned the room with his single eye before shrugging innocently. "I don't sense anything."

"Ugh!" Marluxia shouted/groaned, grabbing at his hair and starting to rip at it. Xigbar's expression turned dark and he abruptly took a step forward.

"I mentally warned you not to lie to me," the Freeshooter stated, eye flashing. "And I'm SURE you could tell that I'm in absolutely no mood to mess around."

Marluxia paled as the rest of the room gazed with interest. It wasn't often that Xigbar got mad, and when he did, it usually wasn't pretty. Although it WAS entertaining to anyone watching.

"Uh...I should start running now," Marluxia decided. Xigbar nodded, summoning his Gun Arrows and taking aim.

"Might be smart," he agreed. Marluxia squeeled like a pig before jumping out of the way of a volley of bullets and streaking down the hall at the speed of light, Xigbar about to follow before he paused in the doorway and looked over his shoulder with a smirk.

"Oh, and Zexion, dude--you might wanna be more careful next time. I'm startin' ta see the burn on the wall. Heheh. Peace, everyone!"

And then he abruptly ran out the door, Marluxia's screams of pain and terror quickly echoing through the halls of the castle.

"Whoa...that'sa long chapter," Sakuya said with wide eyes. MKL shrugged, typing away at a homework assignment.

"I had a stressful day yesterday and figured writing might help," she said easily. She grinned and clicked a button before going back to typing away. "But now I've gotta go do homework. Ararik!"

Ararik appeared from a Corridor of Darkness portal, a sour look on his face. "What?!" he snapped. MKL ignored the tone of voice, being as merciful as she was.

"Talk to the readers. I'm workin' on homework."

Ararik rolled his eyes before turning to the audience. "Okay, fine. It's not like I have a choice. Ehem...

"The song is 'Ticks' by Brad Paisley, and MKL highly suggests listening to it," he stated bluntly. "The poker scene is almost exactly like how it is over at MKL's house. And if any of the terms confused you or something, don't hesitated to talk to her. And don't forget to review. Sakuya will draw an arrow for you."

Sakuya smiled brightly. "Yay arrows!!!" -S3-

Ararik rolled his eyes again. "I've gotta go. Youko Kyuubi is INSISTING that I come visit his universe and 'check out all a th' hot chicks'. And he would probably call Inari if I refuse..."

Ararik shuddered.

"Have fun, tell him I said hi," MKL called absently. "And tell him to drop by. He is one of my muses, after all, his own universe or not."

"I'll pass the message," Ararik said blandly before disappearing again.

"And now I get to draw the arrow!" Sakuya squeeled. "Awaaaaaaaayyyy!!!"

"Later," MKL added.

Sakuya's beautiful arrow to the 'review' button:

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	6. ROFL ALERT!

_**ANNOUNCEMENT TIME!!!!!!!**_

Okay everyone, I've been thinking a lot about this (despite how hard that is to beleive...) and I got this awesome idea. The problem is, I need two new characters to go through with it. So here's where you come in.

Review this 'chapter'. Give me information. And your character might be picked for a later part in at least one chapter!!!

Things I need to know: hair/eye color, distiguishing features (tatoos, scars, etc.), personality, any odd 'quirks' (from hearing/seeing/mental problems to physical disabilities), what you'd like them to wear, race (human/god/demon/fiend/heartless/nobody), weapon(s) (if nobody or heartless or demon; NO KEYBLADES!!!) and anything else you think i might need!

The judging process: It depends on whether the character would work. The chapters I'm planning out are going to be random, but I could use a strait-man (better known as a 'normal' person). And I wanna have someone to bully if possible, since Demyx is getting pretty tired of me picking on him ('dance water, dance!' is NOT a fun thing to come onto the computer to, see future chapter). But random people are good in any situation, so yeah!

Can't wait to see the enteries! Don't worry about rejection--I might use your character in another story I'm working on (too...many...stories!!! XP). And wouldn't that be fun? Gtg, Axel's eating all my ice cream...later!

-MKL

MKL: AXXXXXXEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, GIVE ME BACK MY ICE CREAM!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!

Axel: -hiding unnoticed behind bushes- Heheheh...finally, the rocky road is MINE!

Zexion: -rolls eyes- They are so stupild

Ararik: -groans- You don't have to live with MKL. She's worse than Axel any day. Not to mention Sakuya...-shudders-

Zexion: ...I'll take your word for that...


	7. ROFL 6!

Story: ROFL Kingdom Hearts!

Notes: No plot line. Random updates. Enjoy!

MKL: You know what?

Ararik: -_boredly_- What?

MKL: Let's kick it right into the main story!

Ararik: -_arches eyebrow slowly_- Uh...why exactly is that, again?

MKL: -_snickers_- Because I have an idea that will not only be funny, but get Sakuya out of our hair...

Ararik: -_perks up and smirks_- Huh...fill me in.

-

"Hey, Sakuya!" MKL shouted excitedly. There was a pause before a portal of sparkling pink energy (MKL: Ugh, pink...it's my kryptonite, y'know...-_X.X_-) opened up and Sakuya literally bounced out, glomping Ararik.

"Let go!" Ararik growled, shoving at her. She ignored him and grinned at MKL.

"Somethin' wrong, MKL-sama?" she questioned perkily. "Ya told me ta go on vacation, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but we need your help," MKL said seriously. Sakuya blinked and let go of Ararik, leaning forward slightly and clasping her hands behind her back as she tilted her head.

"What is it? Why can't Ararik-kun help?"

"I hope you mean Ararik-SAN," Ararik muttered. Sakuya ignored him. Again.

"Because YOU'RE the only one with the ability to pull it off," MKL said easily. Sakuya tilted her head to the other side and MKL continued. "We're gunna need someone down there to...stir things up a little. I want someone random, but since I'm stuck up here writing, and I need at least one muse..."

Sakuya squeeled happily and jumped over to grab MKL in a huge hug.

"Thankies, MKL-sama!" she shouted excitedly. MKL forced Sakuya to let go and sent her stumbling back so she was next to Ararik, the goddess raising her finger pointedly.

"Before you go, there is something you need to know," she said seriously. Sakuya became obidiently silent and MKL continued. "Since the little memory-erase thing, Demyx's been pretty aware of any comments we make that don't have to do with the...situation. So please, PLEASE be careful not to let him know it's you! Our whole operation will probably be ruined!!!"

Sakuya nodded seriously, then gave a huge grin. "When do I leave?!"

MKL and Ararik exchanged smirks.

"Right..." Ararik started.

MKL finished, throwing up her hands and knocking Sakuya in the jaw hard enough to knock her out. "...now!"

And Sakuya knew no more...for a while, at least.

"You do know she's going to blow our cover," Ararik said blandly. MKL smirked and nodded.

"Yeah...I know."

-

AT CASTLE OBLIVION, ON THE BALCONY OF DEMYX'S ROOM...

"Man, it's been so boring since that concert," Demyx groaned, making a face as he leaned against the railing. "And no one wants to do ANYTHING!!! Dude, at least before we had Marluxia to stir things up, but he's been avoiding us since the whole Xigbar thing. Somethin' about 'enough wounds to last a lifetime' and wanting to 'keep all of his limbs'. I don't get it, but..."

He groaned and dropped his head. "Not cool!" he groaned as ANOTHER bout of talking hit his mind. This one was something to the effect of, 'We're gunna need someone...stir things up...random, but I'm stuck here...'. The whole thing was happening more and more often, and Goddammit, Demyx was getting SICK of it!!!

"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!" something suddenly screeched, sending Demyx out of his reveree. He jumped and yelped, watching with wide eyes as a black a silver bullet-thing went flying down from the sky like a meteor, landing hard enough on the streets of the city below to create a huge crator in at least three different buildings.

Demyx jumped back in surprise, eyes wide. "Ahhh!"

"What the fuck?!?!" someone from the hallway screeched. Demyx quickly identified it as Larxene.

"What the hell was that?!?!" Axel demanded just as loudly.

"I'm not sure," Zexion said, even his voice a bit ruffled.

"Let's go check it out," Roxas volenteered. There was a group pounding as everyone rushed down the stairs, but Demyx simply created a portal.

Rules be damned, he was going to be the first one on the scene for once in his life!!!

-

The scene of the 'accident'...wasn't really as bad as expected. Mostly it was a crator that was a good half-mile wide, and right in the middle was...

"Kitty!" Axel squeeled, smiling brightly. A few people stared and he cleared his throat, making a face. "Er, uh, I meant to say...what the hell?! There's a cat in that crator!"

Sure enough, there was--a beautiful cream-colored cat with black-tipped ears and tails (two, to be exact), with black also under the eyes and on its feet. A puffy 'mane' of fur just a touch darker than the rest surrounded its neck, and it was curled up as if asleep, its eyes closed as its small chest rose and fell steadily.

"Awww, it's so cute!" Naminé cooed, looking like she wanted to jump in. Which she almost did--until Zexion grabbed the back of her dress, at least, which resulted in one of the hugest pouts in the history of Naminé pouts. And that was saying something.

"Okay, so, should we go down there and get it?" Axel asked with a confused look, obviously recovered from his little 'kitty' episode...well...if it was long enough to be called an 'episode', that is.

Demyx shuddered as words that once more weren't his echoed through his head (MKL: Dammit, gotta stop doing that!!!).

"Someone should go down and get it," Larxene suggested. In case you were wondering, the rest of the occupants of the castle had hangovers and couldn't be there to join our little group. Um...yay?

"I vollenteer...Demyx," Zexion deadpanned. There was a collective grin as Demyx sweatdropped.

"M-me?!" he squeeked. "It could be radioactive!"

"And?"

"I could DIE!"

"...and?"

"AND I DON'T WANNA DIIIIIIIIEEE!!!!"

"Too bad!" Larxene chirped with WAY too much enthusiasm. She shoved Demyx's back and he let out a squawk/shout as he went slidding down the hole, ending up on his knees next to the two-tailed cat.

"Man, they are sending the wrong guy for this," he muttered, sitting up before gazing curiously at the cat. He hesitated before summoning his Sitar and gently poking the cat with the tip.

It twitched.

He squeeled.

The onlookers sweatdropped.

"Demyx, you big chicken," Roxas couldn't help but mutter.

"I'm not a chicken," was the automatic response before Demyx slowly inched forward again. He poked the cat once more and it gave a yawning-meow, showing off rather large fangs. Demyx swallowed before poking it once more.

"MROOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!" the cat screeched, jumping to its feet as its hackles raised and its fur stood on end. It lashed out with its paw in Demyx's direction and the Melodious Nocturne yelped and hopped back, shaking with slight fear.

Now when Sakuya was so rudely awoken by some idiot that decided poking her would be good for his health, she had immidiately shouted out 'Pervert!' and tried to slap him. When she landed on all fours like she usually did, she blinked slowly and looked around, confused beyond beleif. Then she groaned.

Dammit, she was in her kitty-kat form!!!

Okay, for this to make sense, you need a bit of background on Sakuya herself.

Sakuya is a neko goddess. A neko, a fire-cat with two tails, is a creature of Japanese legend. Neko have powers ranging from basic fire spells to being able to change form for breif periods of time, and they don't grow their second tail until they come of age, which normally takes five hundred to seven hundred years. Neko are the only demons that are so capable of bonding to a human that they have to re-produce twice a year to keep their numbers up. Neko also don't get much bigger than a kitten and can live for as long as the human/god/goddess they bond with, unless some restless human or demon gets a hold of them and decides they want their pelts. (Btw, said pelts sell highly on the Demon Black Market.)

A neko goddess, however, are special. They can live forever if they are careful and aren't caught up in a love with a human, and they can take a human-like form. Human-LIKE because they can't help but keep some of the demonic features of their relatives, such as their ears and tail(s). Their powers are amplified a hundred fold, but so are their few weaknesses, which include being soaked completely in water (even missing one hair would leave them with their full powers, so you must be careful while doing this; for gods/goddesses, however, they can have whole limbs dry and still end up powerless) and their love of food (a neko god/goddess can eat someone out of house and home within a week if in their god/goddess forms and can easily starve to near-death if they aren't kept well-fed).

(MKL: I made this up. However, if you have any questions, you can contact me and I'll put whatever you ask into this little eplination. Sorry for the lengthyness, but there's so much information I have! _-groans-_ And the real parts are so CONFUSING when put in contex with my thoughts/theories that I had to read over this eight times before posting. Okay, now enough ranting. Let us continue...)

"Oooooooo, I'm going to KILL MKL-sama!" Sakuya growled, mentally cursing to herself. Of course, the Nobodys heard: "Hissssssssssssssssssssss!"

"Is it okay?" Naminé asked with obvious concern.

"Demyx, be ready to kill it if it attacks!" Roxas called in encouragement. Demyx didn't respond as he leaned forward, eyes wide. He ended up on his hands and knees next to the two-tail, shaking like a leaf.

"Did I just hear you talk?" he whispered under his breath, keeping too quiet for the others to hear. Sakuya blinked up at him, and spoke using her posture, not her kitty-voice. It was so much easier for her.

"Depends," she admitted. "Did you just hear me saying I was going to kill my cousin?"

Demyx yelped and jumped, landing heavily on his knee and wincing. Sakuya wondered for a breif moment what was going on until something felt wrong. MKL's serious face flashed through her head, looking oddly stern.

_"Since the little memory-erase thing, Demyx's been pretty aware of any comments we make that don't have to do with the...situation. So please, PLEASE be careful not to let him know it's you! Our whole operation will probably be ruined!!!"_

"I mean, you didn't hear me at all!" Sakuya yelped, giving a soft 'meow!' and jumping to her feet from her sitting position. Her eyes were wild with fear and she was ready to run if necissary. "You're imagining things! This whoooooooooole conversation's just a huge figment of your imagination!!! Uh...meow?"

Demyx couldn't help but sweatdrop. "That wasn't convincing," he muttered under his breath. Sakuya's ears pushed back against her head and she gave a soft 'mrow' of dismay, causing Demyx to force a happy 'mood' into his expression and stance. "But hey, I won't tell anyone! They'd probably think I was insane, anyway..."

"Demyx, what's wrong?" Roxas asked with concern. Demyx winced and glanced at the neko-goddess, who shrugged.

"You should probably pick me up," she said easily. When he didn't move to do so, she rolled her eyes (which were blood-red around the blue irises) and hopped up onto his shoulder in an easy bound. Again, Demyx yelped and stumbled back, even as she began to purr. Her voice was icy despite her apparent content. "Play dumb, idiot! If they find out, we're BOTH toast, and the whole universe might be, too!!!"

Demyx snapped out of it and sighed with frustration, standing up and running his hand--scared from playing the Sitar so often--through his mullhawk. "Why does this always happen to me?" he muttered, turning around and summoning a portal instead of climbing up the steep walls of the crator.

Sakuya rolled her eyes as they appeared before the group above them. "Tell me about it..."

-

"She blew it pretty quick, even for her," Ararik noted with a smirk. MKL nodded absently, gazing down on her little universe and scanning through it. Sora hadn't even gotten to Castle Oblivion yet, but he would be there soon enough. And that would just suck for her, wouldn't it?

"Yeah, but hey, she tried to correct it," the goddess stated pointedly before twirling a small white ball before her. Sora, Donald, and Goofy were immidiately trapped in a state of suspended animation as she gave a bright smile. "There we go! That should give us more time..."

Ararik glanced over her shoulder and arched an eyebrow. "You do know that won't last long, don't you?" he questioned. MKL made a face.

"It'll work for now."

"Ah. Delaying so you can have more fun with your Nobodys?"

"Of course," MKL said, glancing over her shoulder with an arched eyebrow. "Roxas just joined up two months ago, and the plans for rebellion HAVE to be starting to form in Marluxia's head by now. I've managed to keep Xemnas-chan from sending the Oblivion-crew for a little while, but it won't last forever. After all..."

MKL's eyes became misty as she gazed with a distant look at the uncontious silver-haired figure floating limply in the air before her. She continued in a haunted voice; "...the universe must keep spinning...and the people must keep moving...as love and hate continue to spin their eternal web...and Light and Darkness continue to dance...for control of the universe..."

Ararik wisely didn't respond.

-

MKL: ...wow. Managed to sneak in there some pretty deep stuff.

Ararik: _-growls-_ Keep going! No need for a plot, you idiot. You've got five fictional months to get this over with.

MKL: _-rolls eyes-_ ...and in normal time, that could take forever...

Ararik: ...

MKL: Exactly. Moving on!

-

"What the freakin' heck is that?!" Axel demanded to know, staring at the two-tailed, red-eyed cat before him. The cat's fur bristled, but then it sniffed the air and grinned.

"I smell fire," she told Demyx greedily before hopping off of him and landing on Axel's spikey head. He yelped in surprise and tried to duck his head forward to get her out of his hair, but she simply grabbed a lock of said hair. The minute Axel's head straightened, her ears popped up from the mass of messy red hair (followed by the rest of her) and she mewed as cutely as she could.

"I don't know," Demyx said with a grin as the rest of the group snickered/smirked. He mockingly tapped his forhead. "Got it memorized?"

Axel scowled and folded his arms over his chest, but didn't say anything more.

"I beleive it's a neko-demon from the planet of the Bone-Eater's Well," Zexion said pointedly, eyeing the creature with obvious distaste. Sakuya mewed cutely (again). "A fire-cat."

Axel brightened conciderably as Sakuya obidiently summoned a small flame above her head and began batting at it playfully.

"Okay, I DEFINATELY like this little...whazzit called? A 'neko'?" Axel questioned. He shrugged before getting over it and reaching up, grabbing Sakuya.

"Hey, hey--keep your hands OFF the ass!" she said with a loud hiss, swatting at the offending appendage. Axel yelped and dropped her, but she simply flipped and landed on her feet, tilting her head cutely as she gave the softest, most innocent 'purr' ever. "Only Ararik-kun's allowed to touch there."

Naminé and Zexion glanced curiously at Demyx as he struggled (and failed) to contain some trace of his laughter. They were more concerned about the deep, glowing (yes, GLOWING) scratch on Axel's hand, which he clutched in pain as he glared at Sakuya.

"I changed my mind--the cat's gotta go," the fire-user growled.

"Let me see," Naminé offered, holding out her hand. Axel obidiently gave it over and Sakuya blinked, tilting her head to the other side. Axel's was much larger and more calloused while Naminé's was smooth and daintily-small, but they were obviously closer than they first appeared, if the relaxed stance Axel had taken was any indication. Judging by Zexion's face, he felt the same way, but neither said anything.

"It's glowing," Larxene said with a blink, popping up behind Axel and leaning around his arm to get a better look. He glowered at her as Naminé gently touched the wound, causing it to glow more brightly and Axel to let out a hiss of breath.

"I kept the infection to a minimum," Sakuya assured Demyx, giving an impish grin. "The effects won't kick in for a good hour, and he's not going to die from a tiny scratch. Wrap it in a towel soaked in water heated as hot as you can get it and wrap it around his hand--it should help with the pain."

Demyx casted a glance in Axel's direction as he turned around and muttered something about 'going to see Vexen', but nodded.

"Okay, so we're going to keep the cat?" Demyx asked casually. A few glances of curiosity, but no one objected.

"I wanna name it!" Larxene shouted excitedly, jumping up and down. No one had seen her so giddy since she had figured out she could fry anyone who ticked her off.

"Demyx found it," Zexion deadpanned. (Ignored) STARE. "He should name it."

"He's got a point," Naminé added with a bright smile. Roxas had left to follow Axel.

"Okay..." he said slowly, giving a blink. He glanced down at Sakuya and silently asked her her name with his eyes.

"I'm Sakuya," she greeted before flashing her long fangs in a sort of smirk. "Sakuya, the Neko-Goddess!"

-

Demyx had somehow managed to convince Axel to take his advise on treatment before going to Vexen for help (which probably had something to do with the fact that fire and ice do NOT go well together--and that Axel hates needles). And an hour later, Sakuya had led Naminé, Larxene, and Zexion into a curious scene.

"Rar! I'ma LION!!!" Axel shouted triumphantly, grinning as he hopped around in circles. Demyx and Roxas were staring with shock at the redhead, who had grabbed a pot and was banging it as he started a mini-parade around the room.

"The hell?!" Zexion asked with a slightly shocked look. No one bothered to question his choice of words, everyone instead noting that Axel was acting...well, drunk.

"What did you infect him WITH?" Demyx demanded in a soft whisper as Sakuya hopped up onto his shoulder. She gave a impish grin.

"Caffine," she snickered. Demyx sweatdropped before everyone else seemed to make the connection.

"Okay, who gave him caffine?" Larxene demanded, eyes narrowed as she stared at Axel. Sakuya mewed innocently and purred in the same way one might whistle to show their 'innocence' and everyone stared at her.

"The CAT?!" Roxas asked in shock.

"The scratch," Naminé mused.

"Nekos are cappible of messing with the minds of humans," Zexion mused, staring at Sakuya (who had summoned another burst of flame and was innocently batting away at it). "However, this is simply too big for a simple neko to accomplish with a scratch..."

"Mew!" Sakuya mewed with a scowl. She jumped up and marched proudly out of the room with her head held high, Axel blinking before jumping after her like a frog.

"Rar, it'sa lion!" he exclaimed with a laugh, hopping on all fours after her. The rest of the group trailed behind all the way to the library, where Sakuya marched over to the nearest bookshelf and seemed to scan the titles.

"Is that thing READING?" Larxene choaked out, eyes wide in disbeleif.

"Extrodinary," Zexion couldn't help but mutter, staring with calculating eyes at the neko. Sakuya found what she was looking for and gently took it in her teeth, pulling out the book. She carried said book (which was at least eight times as big as she was) over to Larxene and dropped it at her feet.

The lightening-weilder stared in bewilderment and Sakuya gave a soft growl of annoyance before oppening the cover and flipping through the pages with her paw. She stopped about halfway through and pointed with her extended claw at the page with a mew.

"I think she wants us to read it," Demyx stated dumbly. Larxene hesitated before slowly picking up the book, scanning the page. She gasped and quickly shoved it over to Zexion, who blinked and fumbled with it before he got a good grip. He began to read out loud.

"'A neko's powers are complex,'" he began slowly. "'They are not fully known, but amoung those listed are the most-often proved power of fire, limited power over the rest of the elements, strong powers of illusion, powers of space, powers of matter, and limited powers of manipulation. They are mischeivious and known to bond well with humans they like, but one must be weary of a scratch or bite from the demons. Depending on the personality of the neko, a variety of ailments could result, including the changing of one's form, uncontrollable anger, unlimited power, and insanity. Sometimes the effects are temporary, but more often than not, they are permident.'"

SILENCE.

"I likes pie!" Axel shouted randomly before producing a candy-cane from nowhere and sticking it behind his ear like a pencil for later. He smiled like a five-year-old and began quacking like a duck.

And Roxas finally said, "Now the question is: Is it permident?"

-

MKL sighed in annoyance. "Stupid building chapter," she muttered with a glare at the computer screen. "If it weren't for the fact that I trust my readers not to abandon me between this chapter and the next," (cough, cough) "I wouldn't leave it like this."

Ararik stayed silent nearby. "And the lack of funniness!" MKL continued to rant, pulling at her hair with a loud groan. "Zohmehpie, it's almost enough to kill a girl!

"Just hurry and put out the next chapter to keep whatever readers we have left," Ararik deadpanned.

"Fine, fine," MKL grumbled. She turned back to the computer and began typing again, muttering under her breath. "But the next one'd better be good..."


	8. ROFL 7!

Story: ROFL Kingdom Hearts!

Notes: No plot line. Random updates. Enjoy!

MKL: And this commantary, we have a wonderful surprise guest!

Youko Kyuubi: Heh, I'ma 'wonder-full' serprise. _-blushes in embaressment-_

MKL: _-grins-_ Well of course, my little muse! It's always wonderful to have you around!

YK: _-blushes deeper-_

Ararik: _-rolls eyes- -mutters under breath-_ Teacher's pet...

YK: _-grins-_ An' how's my li'l bro' doin'?!

Ararik: _-groans-_ For the LAST time, Youko Kyuubi, we're NOT related! _-grumbles-_ I swear, one story where we just so HAPPEN to be brothers...

YK: _-shrugs-_ Aw well. It's always wortha shot.

MKL: _-pats shoulder comfortingly-_ Awwwwwwwwwww, don't worry about it, little one! Ararik's always been a stick-in-the-mud.

Ararik: Hey!

MKL: _-ignores Ararik-_ And besides, as my youngest muse, you're always a refreshing little dash of change.

YK: Yer makin' me blush 'gain, M-K-L!

MKL: _-giggles-_

Ararik: _-rolls eyes-_

MKL: Mmmm-kay, let's move on!

YK: Yep!

Ararik: Thank the gods...that I don't know...

-

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Axel shouted, running around the room. He was apparently doing his impression of a fire truck, as he suddenly stopped to create a mid-air fire before holding up his invisible water hose and causing the fire to slowly dwindle. It disappeared and he grinned in triumph. "TAKE THAT, EVIL PIZZA PLACE FIRE!!!! I have now saved the whole world!!!!!!"

Sakuya cheered him on even as she rolled around on the floor on her back, laughing insanely. To everyone but Demyx, it looked like she was having a seizure, but they pretended they didn't think that.

_'Do they really?'_ Demyx wondered boredly, glancing around the room at the variety of looks on people's faces. Naminé and Roxas looked almost sadly at Axel as he continued to halucinate or whatever he was doing, Larxene was torn between laughing with Sakuya or shaking her head in pity, and Zexion...well, Zexion seemed calm. But that was because he was Zexion, so that doesn't count.

"I didn't make it permident," Sakuya finally managed to gasp, rolling onto her stomach and ginning up at the group. Demyx let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, but the moment was ruined when Sakuya continued. "But it's gunna last for a good couple of hours...have fun!"

"Look, cat," Larxene growled, picking up Sakuya by the scruff of the neck. The neko swiped weakly at air, but could hardly move.

"Oooooo...pretty lights..." She was stuck in fantasy-world...ah. Sakuya, you imbicile, you need to snap out of it! (MKL: Ehem, in case you were wondering, if I refer to her directly in the text, she CAN hear me...back to the story.) Sakuya jerked and suddenly blinked as she was held eye-level with Larxene, but carefully out of scratching distance. "Aaaaaaaaah, demon woman, demon woman!!! The kitsune have attacked!!!!!! ...oh, wait she's lightening-element, not all-powerful element...never mind..."

Demyx stiffled a snicker.

"Okay, kitty-cat," Larxene drawled with narrowed eyes, "I wanna know if you're going to keep him like that!"

Sakuya gave the most innocent eyes she could and shook her head. "No, of course not, 'lectric-lady," she cooed in a childish voice. "But if you don't put me down, your pretty little antena-hair-things might end up on the crispy side..."

"I think that was a no," Demyx said, struggling to keep a straight face. He failed miserably.

"Stupid cat," Larxene muttered, dropping her little 'friend'. Sakuya yelped and winced as she hit the ground, letting out a pathetic whimper shortly aftward and slowly getting to her feet. Naminé was at her side in an instant and checking for permident injuries while Larxene received multiple dirty looks from her peers as well as the neko herself.

"I'll get you for this," Sakuya threatened under her breath before giving a soft whimper. Oh, come ON, Sakuya! Suck it up! Maybe use a bit of healing power...?

Sakuya muttered something intelligable under her breath. A huff. Sakuya...!

Sakuya immidiately winced and let out another whimper. "Sorry..."

Demyx simply blinked.

"Larxene!" Roxas exclaimed in anger as Naminé continued to fret over Sakuya. Larxene winced and gave them an innocent look.

"What?" she questioned.

"I'MA VOWEL!" Axel suddenly exclaimed, grinning as he litterally hopped over to the group. He turned to Roxas and bent down dramatically so that they were eye-level, causing Roxas to veinpop. "Ask me what vowel! Pweeeeeeease?"

"If you never say 'pweease' again," Roxas deadpanned. Axel nodded excitedly and stood there almost perfectly vertical (he had to bend his knees for the emphassis) as Roxas let out a strangled sigh. This was shaping up to be much, much worse than when Zexion was drunk...which was saying something. "So Axel...what vowel are you?"

Axel stood up straight and puffed out his chest proudly. "A 'y'! 'Cause it's only sometimes a vowel, so it's cool and special--LIKE ME!!!"

"Axel, you're very special," Zexion muttered in unison with Sakuya, Zexion with a smirk and Sakuya with a grin. Demyx stiffled another laugh.

Axel grinned and was suddenly running around the room again, stopping so often to talk to inanimate objects.

"Hiya Mister Chair, I'm Axel, L-e-x-a--got it memorized?" he asked for emphasis. The chair didn't respond, so Axel got bored and moved on. "Yo, Mister Bookshelf, the name's Axel. Did ya know my superior's gotta funny name? If you mix up the letters, it spells, M-a-n--"

The end of his sentence was drowned out by a snorting laugh, which caused everyone to turn and look. Sakuya squeeled in her not-quite-a-voice-unless-you-were-Demyx-a-reader-a-muse-and-or-writer when they saw...Xigbar.

"Xigbar?" Larxene squeeked, eyes going wide. It wasn't every day that the number 2 in the Organization came to visit.

Speaking of that member of the Organization member, he was currently grinning as he leaned against the doorframe with obvious amusement.

"Yo," he called in greeting, shoving off of the doorframe and walking into the room. He stopped before the group and tapped his head in a lazy salute/greeting. "'Sup?"

"You are," Sakuya pointed out. And it was actually true, since Xigbar was currently walking on the ceiling. However, he quickly dropped down.

"Besides me."

Sakuya blinked at him and he suddenly seemed to recognise her existance, causing him to slowly look down at her. The rest of the members tensed.

Y'see, the truth is, pets were against the rules in the Castle that Never Was. Due to Vexen's dog alergy, Marluxia's various plants, and Zexion's sensitive nose, it wasn't exactly smart. (MKL: We shall reference the Zexion part later.)

"Hey, it's a neko!" he suddenly exclaimed, crouching down. Sakuya blinked and tilted her head with a cute mew, causing Xigbar to grin as he held out his scarred, un-gloved hand. Sakuya slowly sniffed it before she grinned.

"Zohmehpink, it's Koga!" she squeeled, hopping up and down excitedly. (MKL: _-whimper-_ Don't yell at me. Inside joke between friends, but I just couldn't resist putting it in there...and for those of you who don't know, Koga's from InuYasha. A wonderful series...heheh.) Xigbar chuckled and shook his head.

"Haven't heard that name 'n a long time," he admitted. Then he tilted his head and gave Sakuya a look. "Wait, li'l dudette...do I know ya?"

Sakuya made a face and let out a soft mew of annoyance. "You only saw me every time you came to check on Kagome..."

Xigbar blinked before he suddenly grinned with realization. "Kirara!"

"Sakuya," she corrected. Xigbar slowly blinked, but didn't object.

"Sakuya, then...huh." He picked her up and held her at eye-level, careful not to accidently touch somewhere he wasn't supposed to. "Dudette, you don't look any different...except for th' eyes." He blinked slowly. "Are they glowin'?!"

"Yes." She sat down and puffed out her chest, tails flicking behind her. "I have been premoted to goddess!"

Xigbar grinned and patted her lightly on the head, earning an unintentional purr. "That's great...Sakuya!"

"New name came with it," the neko added in a stage whisper. She purred again. "Oh, right behind the ears, please..."

Xigbar rolled his eyes even as he complied. Sakuya, back on track, please! AND STOP SPILLING OUR SECRETS!!!

Sakuya yelped suddenly and jumped away, all of her fur standing on end. Xigbar blinked and glanced down at his hand, where a single slit snaked its way down his finger.

Group hush.

"Oh no," Roxas groaned.

"Wonderful, just wonderful," Larxene muttered, making a face.

"Not cool, not cool!" Demyx wailed, despite the fact that he had heard the whole conversation beforehand. He made a mental note to question the whole 'Koga' thing at a better time.

"Xigbar," Namine whispered with wide eyes. Xigbar simply blinked as Sakuya began mumbling to herself (to MKL, if you were wondering).

"What?" he asked dumbly, even as the wound began to glow softly.

"It scratched you!" Larxene shouted rather stupidly. Xigbar gave her a confused look.

"Uh, yeah...and?"

"And look what that did to Axel," Namine said softly, gesturing behind her to where the redhead was talking with a lightbulb he had found.

"Well Mister Lightbulb, as long as you didn't mean to burn out, I guess I can forgive you," he reluctantly said. "C'mon, I'll put you right over here with--"

Xigbar made a face and turned to Sakuya, who had become quiet and was watching for a reaction. "Kirara!" he scolded, causing the neko to mew innocently.

"It's Sakuya," she chirped. She was ignored as Number 2 went on.

"Dudette, ya haven't done anythin' like this since th' last time Miroku stuck his hand on Sanzo's ass!"

A few confused looks, but Sakuya simply grinned. "Ah yes, the monk got what he deserved. Total transformation, into a pig, for two days...appropriate, wasn't it?"

Xigbar sighed in resignition.

"Wait, you can talk to her?" Demyx suddenly asked with a blink.

"Duh," Xigbar and Sakuya said in unison.

"Ya haven't figured that out 'n th' last five minutes?" Xigbar continued in a deadpan. Silence.

"Her real name is...Kirara?" Zexion finally asked, a musing look on his face. Xigbar rolled his eyes.

"Well it was, but li'l Sakuya here got promoted. I'm gussin' she stuck her new name in one a your heads 'r somethin'."

"Demyx," was Roxas's immidiate response. Xigbar blinked and tilted his head, but didn't say anything else.

"How can you talk to her?" Zexion continued, mind whirring. You could practically see the gears turning.

_'I can't,'_ Demyx thought with a roll of his eyes.

"Figure of speech," was the echoed response that could only be heard by Demyx...and Sakuya. But Demyx didn't know that.

_'Didn't know what?'_

"We came from th' same world," Xigbar said innocently. "I think ya call it...th' planet a th' Bone-Eater's Well?" He snorted and rolled his eyes. "Creative name, by th' way."

"A planet of demons, monks, and few humans," Zexion piped up with still-narrowed eyes. Xigbar shrugged.

"I guess."

"Which were you?" Namine suddenly asked. A few of the people there tried imagining Xigbar as a preist, but the image had them laughing, audibly or not.

Xigbar gave a grin, gesturing to himself dramatically. "I...was a demon! Highest rank of my kind!"

"As far as the West or whatever was concerned, at least," Sakuya corrected innocently. Xigbar deflated.

"...piss off," he finally muttered, giving her the finger. She huffed and her fur bristled, but she didn't do anything.

"What type?" Zexion pressed. Xigbar eyed him and slowly leaned forward, a slightly-hidden gleam to his eye.

"If I didn't know better, dude, I'd say you were tryin' ta get info for later." Zexion adverted his gaze and Xigbar straightened up and flashed a grin. "Just remember your place, dude. 'S all I ask."

"He was a wolf demon," Sakuya added. Xigbar shot her a look.

"You're lucky no one could understand that," he said despite his amused look.

"Wolf," Demyx muttered too quietly for anyone to hear. He shot Sakuya a greatful look, but she pretended not to notice.

"You don't seem like a demon," Roxas said doubtfully. Xigbar snorted and rolled his eyes, folding his arms over his chest.

"Haven't really been one fer a while," he admitted. "Somethin' ta do with turnin' inta a Nobody, I'd guess."

"Awww, poor Koga," Sakuya cooed with a smirk. "Now explain the cut before they freak out...again."

Xigbar blinked and lifted his hand, gazing at the cut (which was still glowing softly). "What about the cut, now?"

"According to the book this 'neko' has just produced," Zexion said smoothly, "it can result in some, for lack of a better phrase, 'pretty bad things'."

Xigbar barked out a laugh and shook his head, sticking his hands on his hips. "Hey, look, dudes an' dudettes--doesn't affect other demons. An' that does include demon Nobodys."

"Do you know how to get Axel back to normal?" Namine suddenly asked, gesturing behind them to Axel. The redhead had given up on his attempts to get furnature to talk and was now blowing bubbles with his spit (MKL: Li'l bro does that. NOT. FUN. TO. WATCH.).

"Sorry, but no," Xigbar said with a shrug. Not that he looked sorry. AT ALL.

_'Got that right,'_ Demyx thought blandly.

"Just gotta wait for the poisen to run its course!" Sakuya piped up. Xigbar repeated the message.

"And how long will that take?" Larxene questioned with an arched eyebrow as she watched Axel stand there, staring with a mesmerised look at a surprisingly-large bubble he had blown. It abruptly popped and showered Axel with spit, something which seemed to amuse him even as everyone watching balked.

"Ewwww..." Demyx groaned, shaking his head.

"A few hours, knowin' Sakuya," Xigbar said with a shrug. He grinned and turned around, raising a hand as he started towards the door again. "Later, all! I gotta get goin'."

"Wait, where are you going?!" Roxas demanded, eyes wide with disbeleif. Xigbar paused and glanced over his shoulder with a mischeivious grin.

"Well SOMEONE has ta be out on missions while you guys're on leave."

He gave a shadow of a wink and turned again, quickly disappearing into a portal of darkness without another word.

Group silence.

And then--

"...now what?" Namine questioned with a slow blink.

-

"That was a good question," Ararik said blandly. MKL grinned and nodded, leaning back in her chair and scanning over what she'd written.

"Much, much better than last chapter...mostly explaining things, though," she noted with a slight tilt of her head. "Sammy's going to kill me for using her 'I'MA VOWEL' and 'ROAR, I'MA LION' jokes, though...not that I regret it. Hmmm. And now to bring in one of the OCs I've been given..."

"Y'all asked fer some OCs?" Youko Kyuubi questioned with a blink, leaning over her shoulder and scanning the website. He clicked something as she resumed typing...and the whole computer shut down.

DEAD SILENCE.

"...I suggest you run," Ararik whispered with a snicker as MKL's ears flew back and the fur on her tails stood on end. She growled (literally) and turned to glare at YK, whose eyes widened at the angry gleam and the snarl on her lips.

"Uh, I recken yer right," YK noted with a sweatdrop. He was almost immidiately off and running, holding onto the brim of his hat as it flapped wildly in the breeze.

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOOO KYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" MKL shreiked, running after him in an instant. "YOU ARE SOOOOO BEYOND DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"And that's a wrap," Ararik muttered with a smirk, clicking the mouse. The abandoned computer lit up like nothing was wrong and he clicked 'save' before going to the InuYasha section. "Hmmmm, I'm in the mood for some KH crossovers right now...heheheh..."

And so he continued to surf the web as the unknowing YK and MKL ran around like they were going to die otherwise.

Sakuya's arrow, MKL version:

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	9. ROFL HELPNOTE!

_**QUICK NOTE AND QUESTIONS!!**_

sorry for the outragously-long wait, everyone, but i've been trying to get online for almost a full month now to get this note up and couldn't seem to find time...my mailbox was overflowing when i finally did so i had to clear that out...and then all the stories i had to beta for other peoples...

anypie! enough of me ranting, ne? let's get right to the point.

quick question for polish: the whole "problem" lulu/lola has...any specific way it's initiated? i wanna work her into the story about three chapters from now, but i'm kinda having problems and i need to know how the "problem" is initiated in order to do so. how to fix said "problem" would he helpful, too.

question for undercover-emo: if i'm not mistaken, it's you who gave me the idea for esmeralda, isn't it? if it is you (or if the person who really gave the OC is reading this little note), please send a review to this chapter. i need to go over some details. STORYSPOILERi'mgoingtoputherinforthenexttwochapterssoyeahikindaneedtoknowENDSTORYSPOILER

and...i think that's it.

as for the rest of you, thanks for your support and unending patience! it would help if i had more OCs, too. but, eh...no more neko, please. all the ones are neko so far, and while i'm sure sakuya's flattered so many enjoy her kind, i don't think i can handle more than four at one time...not including sakuya. just to give you an idea of how hard that is, let me inform you that sakuya TALKS. A LOT. as in, so much that if she meets another of her kind (minus esmeralda, which you'll understand later), she won't stop for quite a while. i have a planned conversation with lulu/lola that's going to take nearly a page...with everyone staring openly at them while they speak...and xigbar walking in halfway and unable to get a word in edgewise...eh, i'll let you guys figure out how that's going to work out. X3

until next time, folks, love ya ta death! thanks for taking the time to read this! btw, i revised a few of the chapters, so feel free to look back. mostly spelling mistakes and grammer and personality problems. stuff like that.

later!  
MKL, signing out.

"Songs do not die." -Ovid  
"Songs do not die...and neither does Demyx!" -ME!

NOTE POSTED: May 13, 200


	10. ROFL 8!

Story: ROFL Kingdom Hearts!

Notes: No plot line. Random updates. Enjoy!

MKL: Ah, Ararik--you have to love the freedom, ne?

Ararik: ...yes...but Sakuya disobayed you. Doesn't she need to be repremanded or something?

MKL: Hmmm, you have teh point...-suddenly smirks- Hey, did you know her cousin is coming to visit?

Ararik: -arches eyebrow- Which one?

MKL: -snickers- The one with the personality problem.

Ararik: ...oh no...please, no...anyone but her...

MKL: -smirks again- Y'know, maybe you're right. Sakuya DOES need to be punished. Now, are you ready, Ararik...?

Ararik: -sighs in slight releif- Just so long as she doesn't stay here, you can do whatever the bloody hell you want with her.

MKL: -laughs- Righto! Then let's get ready for her arrival, shall we? Okay, so when she first gets here...

( ) - ( ) - ( ) - ( )

Sakuya sneezed.

"Does Sakuya have a cold?" Namine asked, obviously a bit alarmed.

"I wish," Larxene grumbled, glowering at Axel. The redhead was scratching behind his ear with his back foot, apparently thinking he was a dog.

"Meow, meow, glub!" Axel announced, panting and grinning widely at Roxas. His blonde friend sighed deeply and shook his head.

"I think he beleives he's a drowning cat," Roxas muttered.

"Or worse--maybe he really thinks he's a dog," Demyx added, unable to resist the grin that pulled at his face.

"We need to take care of him until he's coherent," Zexion suddenly said, arms folded thoughtfully over his chest.

"Which should take about an hour and a half," Sakuya added in her body-language. Demyx gave her a slow blink to show he had heard.

"Screech!" Axel suddenly shouted, spreading his arms like wings and running around the room.

"...and now he thinks he's an eagle or something," Larxene muttered. She (and the rest of the room) looked like this:

-.-;;

"Sakuya!" a slightly bored voice called. Everyone whirled around just in time to see a Corridor of Darkness disappear into nothing, a teenage female stepping out at the last moment.

She was about the same height as Demyx, with long blue hair with golden highlights at the ends that slightly fell into her golden cat eyes. Sleek black cat ears stuck out where normal human ears should have been, twitching a bit as its owner glanced around the room, and a single black cat tail swayed back and forth behind her. She was wearing a black sleeveless top with a blue heart on it with the words "Kingdom Hearts Stole My Heart" over it in swirly red letters, a black mini skirt, red leggings, fingerless gloves, and killer black boots with blue swirls up the sides. Her lips were pouty and had dead purple lipstick over them, a katana-like sword with a red hilt was strapped to her hip, and she appeared slightly bored as she scanned the room.

"Sakuya, ya here?" she asked, glancing around. Her golden gaze fell on the group and she frowned, eyeing them suspiciously. "Hey. Any of you seen Sakuya? I'm kinda lookin' for her."

"Right there," Zexion offered quietly while everyone else simply stared (O.o;;). He gestured to his right and the teen nodded her thanks before following his wave, eyes flashing a bit when she saw the neko-goddess, who had begun to cower against the wall.

"Oh no," Sakuya moaned, making a sound that sounded like a cross between a hiss and a howl.

"Sakuya, you're in deep shit when you get home," the girl chastied. Sakuya flinched back, tails flying to curl under her legs as her ears flew to press against her skull.

"Uh...how much 'deep shit'?"

"Okay, maybe 'deep shit' isn't the right phrase." Just as Sakuya had begun to relax, the girl gave a sort of twisted half-smirk. "More like 'damned to the deepest pits of hell'."

Sakuya made the noise again and ran over, jumping on top of Axel's head (he had found a peice of the orange cushion Zexion had torn appart and was chewing it thoughtfully).

"Mmmm, candy," he half-cooed, searching around the room in an attempt to find more cushion.

"Luuuuuuuluuuuuuuu, please don't take me back," Sakuya howled, head just barely poking up above the spikey locks of Axel's hair. The teen (Lulu) frowned, gaze drifting to the side as she thought about it.

"Well, I'm gunna have ta stay and make sure you don't disobey orders any more for at least one chapter..." she mused, tapping her chin and ignoring the various looks she received.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!" Sakuya hopped out of Axel's hair and onto Lulu's shoulder, purring as she rubbed her side against the teen's cheek. "Lulu-chan, you're a lifesaver!!"

Lulu scowled and shoved her away, forcing Sakuya to jump back to Axel's shoulder to avoid being mauled over in her small form. "Get off of me," she half-snarled.

"Um, and you are...?" Roxas finally asked, eyebrow arched in suspicion. Lulu paused before slowly turning to look at him, an amused gleam appearing in her eye as Sakuya cooed encouragingly.

"Lulu." She half-sneered and folded her arms over her chest, slowly arching an eyebrow. "I'm workin' for Sakuya's boss right now 'cause Sakuya here's my cousin. Distant cousin, but still..."

"I see," Zexion muttered, eyeing her carefully. "That would explain the features..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa--wait a minute," Larxene exclaimed, holding her arms up defensively. "I wanna explination. What the hell's going on?!"

"Sakuya came here on vacation," Lulu offered, rolling her eyes and looking vaguely annoyed at the idea. "Her boss found out that she caused some trouble, so I came to take her back...but..." Lulu sighed in defeat and turned to Sakuya, expression softening the tiniest bit. "Sakuya's my only cousin. I can't let her just take the heat without any fun, especially concidering she's probably gunna be grounded for a year when she gets back."

"Aaaaaah, I totally didn't think about that!" Sakuya wailed, covering her eyes with her ears and putting her front paws over them for emphasis. She ignored Axel when he glanced over at her and made the drowning cat noises before deciding a book would be fun to juggle (unsuccessfully). "I'm gunna diiiiiiiiiieee when MKL-sama gets a hold of me!"

"Damn right." Lulu nodded her emphasis, a smirk beginning to pull at her lips. "You're gunna die. Probably be sent to Fangirl Hell."

Sakuya perked up at that and grinned, abruptly standing up straight and launching herself at Demyx. She landed in his mullhawk, mewing joyfully. "That's where Auron lives!"

"Auron lives in the Underworld, Sakuya," Lulu said slowly, rolling her eyes as she let out a long-suffering sigh. "Just because MKL suggested ONE TIME that him being in Fangirl Hell was a likely idea of torture for his 'sins'..."

"Uh, if you don't mind me asking," Namine interupted quietly, causing Lulu to glance over at her with an arched eyebrow as Demyx grabbed Sakuya and cradled her to his chest, "did you say you were going to stay here?"

Lulu frowned, but nodded. "Yep."

"We're doomed," Larxene groaned, falling back into a chair. "She acts WAY too much like Zexion in one of his pissy-moods."

"Hey," Zexion objected, eyebrow twitching. Lulu suddenly froze up, then growled rather demonically.

"Was that an insult?" she growled, slowly flexing her fingers. Her fingernails (which had been normal before) suddenly became sharp claws, which looked like razors. A purr started low in her throat as Sakuya suddenly started to shake and whimper.

"Oh MKL-sama, we're all gunna die," she prayed.

"What?" Demyx asked dumbly. In response, Lola drew her sword and looked very, VERY murderous, pupils dialating rapidly.

Sakuya ignored him and began searching around her person. "Cat nip ball...c'mon, I know I have it!" She paused suddenly and grinned, jumping off of Demyx and landing on the floor before Lola. "Hey, Lola!"

The demon cat's eyes snapped to land on her and Sakuya pulled down her eyelid, sticking out her tongue. Lola's face darkened.

"You damn cat!" she howled despite the soft purr to her voice, launching into action on all fours like a wild animal. Sakuya suddenly pulled out a red ball of yarn and ballenced it on her head, causing Lola to suddenly freeze. Her expression brightened and her purring became louder as she threw her hand forward and shoved the yarn ball to the side. She continued to purr as she batted the ball back and forth before her, apprently satisfied.

"And that, ladies and gents, is how to fix a rampaging Lola and turn her back into a Lulu!" Sakuya announced brightly. She bowed dramatically. "Thank you, thank you, you're all a wonderful audience."

"Um, that's nice and all Sakuya, but we still have the problem of Axel over there," Demyx said, frowning deeply. Sakuya pouted and shook her head.

"Told ya already, Demyx, babe--can't. Gotta let it run its course, y'know?" she asked with a catty grin (pun intended). Demyx frowned.

"So what do we do with Axel while Little Miss Kitty over there plays with that ball of yarn?" Roxas asked dryly, gesturing to Lulu (who was still batting it back and forth).

"Humor him?" Demyx offered with a helpless shrug.

"Couldn't hurt," Zexion agreed with a nod. He suddenly smirked. "After all, it ultimately worked out for me, didn't it?"

"Eheheh, eheheh, ehhhh..." Larxene chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of her head. She was thoroughly ignored.

"Hey, I have an idea!" Roxas suddenly said. The others turned to him and he smirked rather darkly--an odd expression on even the vaguely-EMO Nobody. "Why don't we..."

He lowered his voice and a few moments passed as he relayed his plan, Sakuya snickering all the way.

( ) - ( ) - ( ) - ( )

"You sure they're not gunna kill him?" Larxene asked quietly as the group scuttled forward, Roxas holding a fishing pole with a peice of cheese dangling from it so he could lead a nearly-silent Axel.

"You're asking this now, when we're about to go through with it?" Demyx asked incredulously. He snickered. "Hey, even I--"

Deciding not to finish that sentence, he snapped his mouth shut, Sakuya (who was perched on his head) snickering as well.

"Ohhh, burn yourself, Demy?" she taunted. Demyx ignored her as they crept on, Lulu looking positively peeved. Sakuya had taken back her yarn ball (laced with cat nip, mind you) away shortly after they had begun to relay the plan.

"Why do I have to come along?" the humanoid neko hissed.

"Because you're the only one who can talk to Sakuya," Zexion whispered back, rolling his visible eye. Kingdom Hearts only knew what was under that wave of hair, after all, although a bionic eye or a hideous Phantom of the Opra scar was a pretty far-fetched (but not unheard of) guess.

_'...I'm not even going to __**mentally**__ respond to that,'_ Demyx decided with an angry mental sigh. Outwardly, he kept his normal smile in place.

"Hey, guys, we're getting closer," Namine quietly said, grinning stupidly. She had been the first suporter of the idea and was apparently not going to give up on it easily.

"We're all going to Fangirl Hell," Lulu muttered.

"Good, we can talk with Auron!" Sakuya said brightly. Lulu glared at her cousin, but didn't say anything, apparently trying to keep her anger in careful check. At least until she got bored, that is.

"We're here," Roxas muttered, haulting and grabbing the cheese miliseconds before Axel could. The redhead whimpered not unlike a cat (even Sakuya seemed impressed) and tried to grab it, but Roxas passed it to Lulu, who had sworn on Axel's life that she would keep it from him. Not that that was saying much, since it was Axel's life and not hers, but you take what you can get.

"They're going to kill him," Zexion said, voice too low for anyone but Demyx, Sakuya, and Lulu to hear.

"But it'll be fun to watch while it lasts," Lulu grudgingly admitted.

"Yep, yep!" Sakuya chirped with a bright grin.

"Okay, ready?" Namine asked quietly. Group nod from everyone but Axel, who was whimpering and trying to snag the cheese. "Set...go!"

Zexion quickly threw open the door and Lulu threw in the peice of cheese, Axel following and barking like a dog. They quickly slammed the door shut and leaned against it, listening intently to the voices inside.

"Number Eight...what are you doing here?" Saix asked in exasperation as Axel gnawed on a peice of cheese that had been thrown through the door. A sniff of the air had Saix's nose wrinkling as he made a slight 'coo'ing noise. "And who gave you caffine?"

"I gots cheese!" was Axel's giggling response.

"Heheh, seems someone wished to play a prank on Axel," Vexen snickered from nearby, leaning back in a chair with a rather superior smirk on his face.

"Or on us," Xemnas sighed, a hand lifted to cover half of his face in his exasperation. "Someone get him out of here."

"Vexy!" Axel suddenly shouted excitedly, lunging for the blonde. Vexen yelped and tried to get out of the way, but he was too slow--Axel had already tackled him and was snuggling against the elder man's stomach as said elder man turned a nice shade of red.

"E-Eight!" Vexen managed to exclaim, shoving at the redhead. It was all for Naught (lolz), since Axel hardly moved, instead snuggling closer. Vexen's attempts increased in force and speed. "Dammit, let go of me, Eight!"

Axel ignored him. "You smell like babies."

Vexen's face turned a deep shade of red as Saix snickered sadistically and a rather amused smirk crossed Xemnas's face. However, up in the control room, MKL huffed angrily.

"That's my line!" she complained. However, no one was around to hear her, so we'll return to the story now.

"Xemnas, please, get him OFF OF ME!!" the blonde wailed. Xemnas rolled his eyes, but rose to his feet with a sigh.

"Only because your crying is not fun to listen to," the Superior said blandly. He reached over and grabbed the back of Axel's shirt, ripping him away from Vexen (who sighed in releif as soon as he was free). Axel seemed unperterbed and grinned innocently up at Xemnas.

"Hey, Superior!" he chirped.

"Hello, Eight," Xemnas said smoothly, arching an eyebrow at him. "Who sent you here?"

Axel paused and put a finger to his chin thoughtfully, then laughed and shook his head. "The cheese!"

"Who was holding the cheese before it was thrown in here, Eight?"

Again Axel paused, but this time it was shorter and he grinned again, looking enlightened. "Lulu-Lola!" he announced, looking proud that he had managed to say that.

Silence.

"...and who is Lulu-Lola, Eight?" Xemnas finally asked. Axel's grin widened.

"Sakuya's cousin!" he announced brightly. The people outside of the door froze. "They're both neko-kitty-demons. Sakuya's a two-tailed kitty, and Lulu-Lola's a human with kitty ears and a tail!"

Xemnas slowly arched an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Yep!" Axel nodded his head for emphasis. He lowered his voice to a stage whisper. "But don't tell anyone--it's supposed ta be a secret!"

Xemnas, Vexen, and Saix exchanged identical looks. After a conversation consisting solely on facial expressions, Xemnas turned back to Axel nodding as he slowly set the man down. "Thank you for your help, Eight."

"Sure thing, Man--" Axel started to chirp. In a matter of moments, Saix had his arm around the redhead's mouth, gently holding his arms behind his back as Xemnas slowly started to turn red.

"It was an accident," he muttered rather distractedly, gazing out the window. "I didn't realize until afterward..."

"It's fine, Superior," Vexen assured the taller man, patting his back comfortingly. "We know."

"I will return him to his owners," Saix said dryly, walking towards the door with Axel clasped firmly in his grip. The redhead seemed ready to object before suddenly his eyes drooped.

"Sleepy-time," he yawned before going slack in Saix's arms. Satisfied, the blue-haired man lifted him and threw the uncontious Number VIII over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, opening the door and walking out. The group outside had scattered at "human with kitty ears", so Saix quickly picked out the unfamiliar scents and followed them down the hall.

This was going to be an...interesting...conversation...

( ) - ( ) - ( ) - ( )

"You signed their deathwish," Ararik said dryly. MKL smothered a smirk.

"I know," she said rather sadistically. Ararik rolled his eyes.

"Uh, M-K-L-sama," YK fidgeted as the other two turned to him, "ain't it time ta send in--"

"Not until Lulu leaves, YK," Ararik cut in with a roll of his eyes.

"Even if we wanted more than one OC in there right now, her owner hasn't contacted us," MKL sighed with a scowl, folding her arms over her chest. And after we took the time to put up that nice note, too!"

Ararik decided to cut in before his owner's thoughts turned violent. "Do you know if you did Lulu's character right? Or Lola's, for that matter?"

MKL waved his worrys away with a careless throw of her hand. "If Polish has a problem with it, well, anyone can contact me from my profile. Or through review."

"They're gunna die," YK suddenly said, glancing at the screen that had the outline for next chapter. MKL scowled.

"No they're not, silly!" A sadistic grin spread over her face. "'Sides, if I killed off anybody TOO important, the whole KH:CoM and KH2 thing would never happen, would it?"

"You're going to Fangirl Hell for this," Ararik said dryly. MKL scowled again, but her eyes glinted mischeiviously.

"Okay, ArarikA."

Ararik paled. "P-please don't reference that in here, MKL-sama."

"Hehehe," MKL snickered, smirking mischeiviously and leaning back in her chair. "Dunno. Sakuya might mention it to Saix..."

Ararik whimpered rather pathetically.

MKL snickered before turning to YK. "Anyway, Youko Kyuubi, will you please do the honors?"

"Sure thing, M-K-L-sama!" he announced with a grin. He turned to the readers. "Y'all should review! We're open ta more suggestions, too! Just try ta hold off on th' nekos, please an' thanks. Maybe send 'n a 5-tailed wolf demon..."

"That's my job!" Ararik squawked. He was ignored, even as he groaned, smothering his face with his hand. "Please no one do that, please no one do that, then I'd have to be with them...oh Xelloss, I'm gunna die..."

"Speaking of Slayers..." MKL said with a grin.

(Everyone review, please! Thankies! Hope you guys don't need an arrow this time...actually, YK's gunna draw one! -grins- See ya later! MKL, signing out.)

YK's arrow to review button!:

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	11. ROFL 9!

Story: ROFL Kingdom Hearts!

Notes: No plot line. Random updates. Enjoy!

( ) - ( ) - ( ) - ( )

MKL: Okay, so, ValGaav or no ValGaav?  
Ararik: -dryly- Aloria couldn't see it.  
MKL: -frowns- She didn't say that. She said the hair color wasn't right. But I pointed out to her that people's hair color DOES change when they become Nobodys. Look at Xehanort with his white hair and Xemnas with his silver hair! Not to mention their skin tone is different, and their hair style, and their eyes...  
YK: -blinks slowly- Their eyes? But M-K-L-sama, ain't their eyes both gold?  
MKL: -frown deepens- Well, no. If you look, Xehanort's are more yellow and Xemnas's are more gold...  
Ararik: -rolls eyes- MKL-sama, you are VERY weird.  
MKL: Yeah, I know! -giggles- -suddenly serious- But back to the matter at hand--ValGaav or no ValGaav?  
YK: Well, go fer it! Can't hurt! An' no one killed ya fer th' whole Xigbar-Koga thing, right?  
MKL: -thoughtfully- Yeah, I guess you're right...but Slayers isn't as well known as InuYasha. How many people will just leave because I keep making references that no one but me and Shikuki and BA get?  
Ararik & YK: -shrug-  
MKL: Oh well! I guess I'll go for it! -grins- I'm curious as to the responses anyway.  
Ararik: -dryly- You're going to Fangirl Hell.  
MKL: With Auron! -grin widens-  
Ararik & YK: -sigh-  
YK: -pats MKL's back comfortingly and begins to lead away from the computer- C'mon, M-K-L-sama. Let's put ya ta bed b'fore we start this, 'kay?  
MKL: -yawns- Okay...I guess I am pretty tired...  
Ararik: -gazes at story thoughtfully as YK and MKL disappear into MKL's room- Hmmm, I wonder... -smirks and sits down to type- Let's see if anyone can appreciate MY sense of humor...  
MKL: -calls back- And Ararik-san! Don't write the chapter without me! I'll let you write the end commentary if you don't, okay?  
Ararik: -scowls and stomps foot- Dammit! So close (to scarring Sakuya)...and yet so far...

( ) - ( ) - ( ) - ( )

Sakuya blinked up at the ceiling. "What are they TALKING about up there...?" she wondered. She got no response.

( ) - ( ) - ( ) - ( )

Saïx threw open the door to the library, Axel thrown over his shoulder. The assorted people with in glanced up and blinked "innocently".

"Hi, Saïx!" Naminé said with a bright smile. She bowed almost too deeply from her position next to Zexion, who was sitting in a chair and reading his Lexicon...upsidedown. Saïx frowned at the silver-haired teen. He was supposed to be the Master of Illusion, wasn't he? So then why...?

Saïx decided he didn't want to know.

"Seven," Zexion greeted in a monotone, glancing up from the Lexicon before turning back to it and flipping the book rightside up.

"What brings you here, Saïx?" Demyx asked a bit too brightly from his position next to Roxas, who was scanning the bookshelves. Roxas glanced up and nodded his greeting before turning back, mumbling titles under his breath.

"Oh, you found Axel!" Larxene chirped with a grin, walking over from the Mythology section. She held out her arms to take the slumbering redhead, and Saïx gladly threw him at her. Literally.

"Ooof!" Larxene grunted, being thrown back from the force and just barely keeping from running into Demyx and Roxas. She quickly blushed when she saw Axel's face was between her breasts and quickly deposited him on a nearby couch.

"Yes, I found him," Saïx said dryly, glancing around at the group. "And he told the Superior, Vexen, and myself some VERY interesting things before I was forced to knock him out."

"Such as?" Zexion asked, glancing up and arching an eyebrow as he closed his Lexicon. It disappeared as he stood up and brushed off the front of his cloak--a nervous habit that clearly showed he knew EXACTLY what Axel had told Saïx before being knocked out.

"Such as information about a cat and her cousin who were 'hanging out' with your little group."

Silence.

"I don't know WHERE he got that from," Naminé said, frowning in fake worry as she looked over at Axel. Saïx frowned at her and folded his arms over his chest.

"I do, and I would prefer it if you did not lie to me," he said, not bothering to hide the threat to his words. However, before anyone could comment, there was a gasp from behind the chair Zexion was sitting in, causing the group (minus Saïx and Axel) to tense.

"Zohmehpink, it's Val!" Sakuya gasped, suddenly hopping up onto Zexion's head.

"Get back down here, Sakuya!" Lulu hissed from behind her, grabbing Sakuya's tails and jerking her down. Sakuya yelped loudly. "Do you WANT to die?!"

"And who was that?" Saïx asked, arching an eyebrow and striding over to where he had seen the cat fall. He paused when he caught sight of Lulu half-strangling Sakuya to keep her from talking again, both freezing when his shadow fell over them. Their eyes rose up his form in unison and Lulu cursed under her breath, releasing her hold on Sakuya, who grinned brightly and raised a paw in greeting.

"Hiya, Val!" she chirped. Saïx openly stared at her.

"Val?" Lulu suddenly asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as she stared up at the obviously-surprised Saïx. "As in ValGaav? As in the insane, homocidal, half-Anceint Dragon, half-Mazoku Demon who brought Dark Star and nearly killed the planet in a twisted attempt to kill the one who supposedly killed his master even though Lina didn't do it and it was really Phibrizzo? Do you mean THAT Val?"

"How do you know of that?!" Saïx snarled, reaching down and grabbing Sakuya by the scruff of her neck in one hand and the front of Lulu's shirt in the other. He lifted both up into the air, even as Sakuya became dazed from the overflow of good-feelings that resulted.

"Oooooh, pretty colors," Sakuya cooed with a rather distant giggle. Saïx quickly brought both over to the nearby couch where Axel was sleeping, dropping Lulu first (who was surprisingly calm) and then letting Sakuya fall into her lap. Sakuya yelped quietly and quickly scrambled to her feet, whimpering.

"That hurt!" she complained, rubbing her head with her paws. Saïx glared pointedly at her and she smiled. "I knew it! He gave me that exact same look!"

Nice, quote Xigbar, Sakuya. Very nice.

Sakuya giggled to herself and Demyx glanced at her in confusion, even as Saïx growled dangerously.

"Who are you and how do you know of that?!" he demanded, snarling again and leaning forward so he was eye-level with the neko. Lulu sat quietly as Sakuya tilted her head and sat down, gently licking her paws.

"I got that information from a VERY reliable source," she chuckled. She glanced up and tilted her head innocently. "You remember Amelia?" At Saïx's terse nod, Sakuya went on. "She and MKL-sama, my master, are really good friends. You'd be surprised how much information we have on the majority of the anime-planets."

Saïx's expression darkened. "That still does not explain how you know of my Somebody!"

There were a series of gasps/stares that were thoroughly ignored by Saïx and Sakuya, although Lulu gave them all a pointed look that shut everyone up (although it did nothing for the stares). "Well, Amelia, Lina, Zelgadiss, Filia, Xelloss, and Gourry were the ones to beat you, right?" Saïx nodded. "Then, when you were reborn, it was Filia who raised you along with Gravos and Jilias, right?" Saïx nodded again. "Then doesn't that explain everything?"

"Not really," Saïx growled, hardly keeping his anger in check. Sakuya smiled mysteriously, but didn't say anything more.

"Maybe you should speak with our little audience now," Lulu piped up, slowly arching an eyebrow. Saïx glanced around the room at the shocked exressions and straightened up, clearing his throat as he became as apathetic as he usually was.

"My Somebody is none of your concern," he spat at them. He gave Sakuya a pointed look and she shrugged.

"Only Lulu can understand me," she said boredly, "so don't worry about me tellin' them."

_'And me,'_ Demyx mentally added, still staring at Saïx. He didn't dare say that out loud if he wanted to keep his head.

"What are you staring at?" Saïx snapped. Everyone jolted and quickly adverted their gazes, with the exceptions of Naminé and Demyx. Satisfied, he turned back to Sakuya and Lulu, giving them a vaguely-disgusted look. "You are very lucky you are not dog demons, otherwise I might have to send you out of the castle. If you so much as breathe a word about me letting you two go without any sort of punishment to anyone, I swear I will make your lives a living hell." He glanced around the room and added, "And that goes for every single one of you."

"Wait, what just happened?" Larxene asked just loud enough for Saïx to hear. He paused and leveled her in his steely-eyed gaze, causing her to whither. Satisfied about the reaction, he swept out of the room with unnatural grace, leaving the rest of the group behind.

"Oh man, and I thought he was psycho before," Sakuya snickered. Lulu frowned down at her and stood up, causing Sakuya to yelp as she hit the floor. She whimpered quietly. "Owie..."

"So now that PMS-man is gone," Lulu said boredly, "what do we do now?"

"Dudes, what's up?" someone suddenly asked. Everyone jumped (with the exception of Sakuya and Axel) and whirled around to see Xigbar standing on the ceiling in the doorway, looking very confused as he scratched the back of his head. He glanced over his shoulder as he dropped down to the ground. "I get back from a mission an' come ta check on ya, an' I run inta Mister PMS out there. What'd ya do ta him?"

Lulu's teeth began to grind together as she glowered at Xigbar, causing Sakuya to pale as she laughed nervously.

"Uh, Xigbar..." the neko-goddess said slowly. Xigbar blinked and glanced at her. "I suggest you run now. Lola is going to make a guest appearence unless you do."

"Huh?" Xigbar asked stupidly, scratching the back of his head again. "What're ya talkin' 'bout, Sakuya? Who's Lola?"

"That'd be me," Lola growled as a purr started up in her throat, crouching down low to the ground and drawing her sword. Sakuya laughed nervously and quickly summoned her cat nip yarn ball, then paused and glanced at Xigbar before dismissing it with a rather sadistic grin. Maybe this would be more interesting if they saw Lola in action.

"I thought she was Lulu," Zexion muttered to Larxene and Roxas, who were both watching in confusion. Lola ignored them and her purr intensified.

"Start running. I'll give you five seconds."

"Wha...?" Xigbar began to ask with a blink. Lola ignored him.

"Five...four..."

"Run, Xiggy!" Demyx suddenly shouted in unison with Sakuya. Xigbar glanced at them in confusion.

"Three...two..."

"Uh, I think I'll take yer advice," Xigbar decided with a nervous laugh before disappearing from sight. Lola growled and sprinted down the hall. It took only ten more seconds before the screaming started.

"Well, I guess we should go help him!" Sakuya said with a grin, jumping down from the couch and nudging Demyx's leg with her head. "C'mon, Demy! Lola might cause some major damage if we don't help."

"All right," Demyx sighed, reaching down and scooping her up as he temporarily forgot that there were other people in the room. "Which way?"

Sakuya paused to sniff the air before she grinned and tilted her head towards the left. "Down the hallway to the left."

Demyx simply nodded before sprinting out of the room, leaving a group of confused people in his wake.

"Did he just speak to Sakuya without a translator?" Roxas asked no one in particular. The rest of the group nodded silently.

"But Demyx isn't a demon, is he?" Naminé went, fidgeting slightly. The rest of the group once again nodded silently.

"At least, he doesn't act like it," Larxene said.

"But neither does Xigbar," Zexion mused, visible eye narrowed.

"...we should follow them," Roxas finally said. He glanced around at the uncontious Axel and sighed in a rather annoyed way. "I'll stay with Axel. You guys go."

The other three nodded before sprinting out the door, leaving Roxas behind to stay with the sleeping, yet still-on-a-caffine-high Axel. This was NOT going to end well...

( ) - ( ) - ( ) - ( )

"What did I do?!" Xigbar half-sobbed as he sprinted down the hall, warping the area whenever he caught enough breath to do so in an attempt to confuse Lola, who was hot on his heels. She seemed unaffected and followed him without stopping, not even panting as she occasionally howled in annoyance/impatience.

"Get back here!" she shouted, glaring at his back.

"Hell no! You'll kill me!"

"That's the point!"

"Xigbar, duck into the next room!" Demyx suddenly called, appearing behind them with Sakuya in his arms. Xigbar decided not to object and did as he was told, slamming the door closed behind him as Lola whirled around to glare at the two. She continued to purr as she crouched down, holding her sword loosely in her hands as Sakuya lept from Demyx's arms. She slowly walked forward.

"Lola, calm down," she said in as soothing a voice as she could manage under the dangerous conditions she found herself in. Inwardly, she was wondering whether or not she wanted white roses or catnip on her grave. She quickly decided on both. "Please? I know Xigbar's character bugs you, but that's no reason to kill him..."

"It's the purrrrrrrrrrrfect reason to kill him," Lola objected, smirking rather sadistically. Zexion, Naminé, and Larxene suddenly appeared behind Demyx, but the other three ignored them.

"Lola, listen to Sakuya," Demyx said in a surprisingly-confident voice. Sakuya had told him how to handle a rampaging Lola on their way down the hall. "You know she's right..." He suddenly fidgited and his voice dropped nervously. "R-right?"

Lola smirked at him and suddenly charged. "Wrong!"

"Lola!" a new voice snapped. Everyone paused (including Lola, who was not even two inches from running Sakuya over) and watched as a Corridor of Darkness, sparkling with blue and silver energy, opened in the doorway where Xigbar had disappeared and was silently listening to what was going on outside.

Out of that Corridor walked a black, five-tailed wolf with silver tips to its fur, which was partially falling to cover blood-red eyes with silver "whites". The wolf radiated a regal air that suggested he was used to being obeyed, and the slight snarl to his lips (which showed off outragously-long teeth and fangs that would put Cerberus's to shame) suggested he was totally and completely pissed. He was easily bigger than any of the humans and at least twenty times the size of Sakuya, whose eyes suddenly sparkled as she squeeled happily.

"Ararik-kun!" she gushed, jumping at him. The wolf hardly spared her a glance and expertly lifted his right front leg, causing her to go flying past him and hit a wall face-first. She let out a low 'coo'ing noise as the wolf ignored her.

"Ararik," Lola growled, eyes narrowing, "what are you doing here?"

"MKL-sama sent me to bring you back," he said simply. "She said that you were causing too much trouble, what with your 'problem'."

"Yeah, that Lulu is a pain in the ass."

Ararik rolled his eyes, tails flicking behind him as he walked forward to stand before her, two-inch-long claws clicking on the floor as he did. "No, I meant that you wanting to kill everyone. Especially Xigbar, for whatever reason."

Lola suddenly growled and went to charge at him, but he simply arched an eyebrow, summoning a yellow ball of yarn with catnip inside to float right in front of her nose. She suddenly stopped and her eyes sparkled as she grabbed it, mewing and purring happily as she batted it from side to side. Ararik rolled his eyes.

"So easy to distract," he muttered to no one in particular. He glanced over his shoulder at the Nobodys behind him, who were openly staring as he fully turned around. He lowered his head a fraction in what could have been a bow. "I am sorry for all of the trouble Lulu and Lola have caused."

"Ararik-kun," Sakuya gurgled as she regained herself, stumbling to her feet. Ararik gave a rather agrivated sigh and turned to her.

"Sakuya, you come to hug me again and I swear, I WILL take away your supply of PB cups for the next month--which BA would gladly accept."

Sakuya suddenly froze and whimpered as Ararik looked content, turning back to the group with another wolf-bow.

"I will be more than happy to take both Lulu and Sakuya off of your hands," he went on in a monotone. Sakuya whimpered and shook her head rapidly, although Lulu was ignoring them as she continued to play with the catnip yarn ball. "I know how much of a pain in the ass they can be when they're not together, let alone when they are, but in this situation..."

"No!" Demyx immidately objected, frowning.

Silence.

"...did you just say NO?" Ararik asked incredulously, quiet voice not unlike Zexion's radiating a sudden air of confusion. Truth be told, it was the first emotion to his voice.

"Yes, I said no," Demyx said forcefully, walking over to Sakuya and picking her up. She squeeked in surprise and glanced up at him with a blink, looking thoroughly confused. "You can take Lulu or Lola or whoever the hell she is--"

"Hey," Lulu objected rather distractedly, although she seemed to only be half-listening/half-irritated. Demyx ignored her.

"--but I want Sakuya to stay."

"Really, Demyx?" Sakuya asked, starry-eyed. Demyx glanced down at her and smiled blindingly.

"Yep!" he chirped. She grinned at him and turned back to Ararik.

"Seeeeeee? Not everyone is as annoyed by me as you are, Ararik-kun!"

"I'm surprised," Ararik said in a monotone, not sounding at all surprised, "that anyone could tollerate you, Sakuya. Even MKL-sama gets sick of you once we reach a certain point."

Sakuya frowned a bit. "Hey!" she objected. Ararik ignored her and turned back to the others in the hallway.

"Do you want to keep her?"

Silence.

"...what's the other option?" Larxene asked with a snort. Naminé immidiately elbowed her in the ribs, causing Larxene to yelp and grab her side with a wince. "Ouch! What--?!"

"We're more than happy to!" Naminé said with a blinding smile. Zexion hesitated for only a moment before nodding his silent agreement, still staring at Ararik. Ararik blinked at them before giving a shrug.

"All right then, if you think you can survive her," he snorted before turning to Lulu. He made the yarn ball disappear and suddenly Lulu was on her feet, scowling at him.

"Ararik, I was playing with that!" she complained. Ararik rolled his eyes and opened another Corridor, which was again sparkling with blue and silver energy.

"Just get into the portal, Lulu." She glared at him, so he sighed in resignment and shook his large, imposing head. "If you do, I might be able to convince MKL-sama to allow you to come back in a few chapters, after everyone calms down and Axel is back to normal so he can...enjoy...your presence. I'm sure Youko Kyuubi will refrain from stepping on your tail this time. He seemed to learn his lesson after he was bonked on the head for the eighth time."

Lulu appeared satisfied and wordlessly walked into the portal, not even bothering to look over her shoulder. Ararik turned to the others.

"I think this would be easier if everyone could hear Sakuya speak--and not just Demyx," he said, nodding his great head. He lifted a single paw and drew some sort of symbol in the air that looked like a large triangle with two smaller ones on top of it, almost like a fox head. He muttered something under his breath and Sakuya suddenly yelped as she glowed with a gentle black-pink light in Demyx's arms.

"Yaaaah!" she exclaimed, voice clear to everyone in the area. It actually sounded a lot like Naminé's, but with a slightly higher pitch and a hint of a nasaly quality to it. She pouted at Ararik as the light died down. "Ararik-kun, warn me next time!"

Ararik ignored the reaction as Naminé, Larxene, and Zexion openly stared at her.

"There," Ararik muttered, sounding content. Sakuya suddenly lept from Demyx's arms and ended up on Ararik's head, causing the large wolf to vein-pop as his ears pushed back against his skull. She purred in contentment and nuzzled his head.

"Ararik-kun, will ya come and visit me before...y'know?" she asked in a cooing voice. Ararik's eyebrow twitched.

"If you get off of my head, I might."

Sakuya grinned and slid down his neck, ending up on his back. He groaned in response and shook his head again.

"Can't you go back to your human form?" he asked, clearly annoyed. Sakuya shook her head.

"Nope!" she chirped brightly. She suddenly pouted and sat down, ears pushing back against her skull as her tails wrapped around her protectively. "I can't. MKL-sama made it so I'm stuck like this."

"Really." Ararik sounded vaguely amused. "I guess she realized that you cause less trouble in a smaller form, and that you would attract less attention without...well...never mind." He snickered rather sadistically. "You never really had them, anyway."

Sakuya scowled at him. "Hey!"

Ararik ignored her and suddenly fazed out of existance, causing her to yelp as she fell to the floor. Ararik reappeared in front of Demyx and looked up the five inches or so needed to catch his gaze.

"You're her main caregiver," he decided with a pointed nod. "You have to take care of her now. The others are merely helpers." He suddenly paused and dropped his voice until only Demyx and Sakuya could hear it, although the later was still recovering from her fall. "And try not to let the others press her for information. She knows much more than any of you about both the past and the future, and she is forbidden from revealing it. If she does so without MKL-sama's permision...well..."

Ararik left the sentence hanging and Demyx shuddered as if chilled.

Ararik suddenly turned towards the portal, tilting his head a bit as if listening to a voice only he could hear. "I must leave now." He glanced back at the group and gave a breif bow of his head. "I wish you...ehem...good health."

And with that, he walked into the Corridor and disappeared.

"So wait...what just happened?" Larxene asked with a rather stupid blink. The others ignored her and Demyx walked over to Sakuya, picking her up again and holding her gently to his chest. Sakuya, dazed, tilted her head a fraction and pushed her ear to his chest.

"...I think...I hear something..." she muttered too quietly for anyone but Demyx to hear. He froze the minute the words left her mouth, lowering his head to stare at her with wide eyes. Sakuya didn't seem to notice. "...I think...but then...I might...not..."

Suddenly snapping out of her stuper, Sakuya abruptly jumped from Demyx's arms and ended up on his head, glancing at everyone with surprised eyes. She suddenly grinned.

"So can everyone hear me now?" she called. The others' obviously-surprised expression caused her to snicker. "Good, then I don't need a translator anymore!"

"Augh, my head," someone suddenly groaned from behind the group. They all turned and stared as Axel stumbled up to them, half-hanging over Roxas's shoulder and clutching at his forehead. To put it bluntly, he looked like crap as he gazed over the assorted people.

"What happened?" he croaked. The others exchanged looks.

"It involves two neko, a demon, a half-dragon half-demon, a five-tailed wolf, and the longest three hours of my non-life," Larxene merely groaned.

"Hey, I thought I put more venom into him," Sakuya said loudly, causing both Roxas and Axel to jerk and stare at her. She suddenly shrugged and grinned. "Must be the Nobody part that dilluded it or somethin'."

"I-i-i-i-it TALKED!!" Axel half-shouted, oogling at Sakuya. Sakuya's grin widened.

"It SPOKE, you mean. 'Talked' is the incorrect past tense of the word. It is not acceptable in the English language."

Silence.

"Demyx, get your pet under control," Zexion muttered, cearly annoyed. Sakuya's chest puffed out as she bristled.

"I'm no one's pet!" she complained, frowning rather childishly. She was ignored.

"Awwww, but she's not hurting anyone!" Demyx defended. "And she won't scratch people again!" He gave Sakuya a pointed look. "Right, Sakuya-chan?"

Sakuya grinned and gave a kitty-salute. "Righto, Captain! I'll try not to unless someone pisses me off!"

"Okay, let's lay a few ground rules," Naminé said seriously, causing everyone to turn to her. She was giving Sakuya a pointed look. "One: Don't scratch anyone on purpose."

"Check!" Sakuya announced with a nod, although she mentally added, _'Unless I'm bored...'_

"Two: You HAVE to listen to us if we tell you to do something."

"Oh, uh...fine, I guess..." _'Unless I don't agree with what you're saying...'_

"Three: Try to keep from speaking around anyone other than us."

"Fine..." _'Unless I feel like it...'_

"Four: If anyone finds out you exist other than those of us who already do, there's a pretty good chance you'll be kicked out. So try to keep a low profile."

"I'll try." _'Unless I get bored or annoyed with someone...'_

"Five: Tell us if you're going anywhere. We should probably make sure you won't get caught before you leave our prescense."

"Awww, fine..." _'Not...'_

"And six: You should stay around at least one of us at all times so we can take care of any complications."

"If you're going to force me," Sakuya grumbled irritably. _'But I might not do that, so don't be surprised...'_

Naminé seemed content.

"Hey, can I be in charge of punishing her?" Larxene asked with just a bit too much enthusiasm. She received a series of glares, causing her to laugh nervously as she sweatdropped. "Or, uh...not..."

"Yo, uh..." Everyone turned to look as the door to the room where Xigbar was hiding creaked open, revealing Number II as he glanced around nervously. He glanced at them. "...'s th' psychopath gone?" he asked, fidgiting.

"Yep!" Sakuya chirped with a nod. She paused a moment before suddenly grinning. "And she didn't tell anyone about you being a wolf demon who trailed after a human like a lost puppy because you were so in 'love' with her that you couldn't trust her with a dog demon, despite the fact that you guys are technically cousins."

"Good," Xigbar said with a nod as everyone else stiffled snickers. He stepped out of the room and sighed in releif, grinning at her. "Was kinda worried fer a minute there."

"Hey, Xigbar," Roxas suddenly said, smirking a bit. Xigbar blinked and glanced up. "Did I just hear something about you 'trailing after a human like a lost puppy because you were so in "love" with her that you couldn't trust her with a dog demon'?"

Xigbar's jaw dropped and he whirled on Sakuya, looking like he wanted to strangle her. "I thought you said she didn't tell them!!"

"She didn't," Sakuya snickered. Xigbar blinked once more.

"Then how...?" he slowly began.

"A little 'divine intervention'," Demyx said, grinning. "But that's beside the point." He dropped his voice to a stage whisper. "I think you should check in with the Superior. He's probably getting upset that you didn't check in yet even though you've been here almost twenty-five minutes."

Xigbar paled conciderably and cursed under his breath. He was gone in an instant.

"How'd you know he didn't check in with the Superior?" Axel asked incredulously, only half-understanding what was going on.

"I didn't," Demyx snickered. "But I do have some inside information."

"Demyx the spy!" Sakuya chirped brightly. She grinned up at him. "And a cute one at that."

Demyx slowly began to blush and he sputtered. "Wh-wh-wh-WHAT?!"

Sakuya merely laughed, mentally wondering what was going to happen next. This was going to be fun...

( ) - ( ) - ( ) - ( )

"MKL-sama," Ararik groaned as he returned to their realm, once more in his human form. MKL ignored him and stared at the computer screen, wondering what she was going to do to make up for the incredibly-non-funny chapter she had just produced. Maybe completely scrap it...?

"You didn't need me to appear to get everything rolling," Ararik went on, well-aware that MKL was listening despite stewing in her own thoughts. MKL shrugged absently.

"Yeah, well, y'know," she said, not really paying attention as she began to correct some spelling mistakes, "it's just easier to set everything up for later on."

Ararik immidiately paled. "Later...on...?" he half-whimpered, aware that only MKL and Sakuya could make him sound so pathetic. MKL grinned and nodded.

"I was thinking about introducing everyone to Ararika."

MKL snickered as Ararik paled conciderably, beginning to sputter. "B-b-but w-we decided th-that..."

"That there was no need to bring that little incident up?" MKL finished, smirking rather sadistically as she leaned back in her chair. She cooed at him and gently pinched his cheek, although he was too stunned to try and bat her hand away. "Well, I think readers would be interested to know what you do in your spare time, Ararik, especially with a girl's name being involved that sounds just a bit too much like your normal one..."

"I don't do ANYTHING in my spare time except sit and think!" Ararik objected rather heatedly, apparently recovering enough to realize what was going on. "It was YOUR stupid story!"

"In which you willing participated."

Ararik scowled at MKL's even tone as she quickly opened the internet, flipping through the Secret Ansem Report files instead of opening up the game to read them. Her eyes moved rapidly back and forth as she scanned the contents.

"Because you threatened me with Sakuya," Ararik grumbled. MKL shrugged half-heartedly.

"Whatever," she decided. "We're still going to bring it up."

Ararik immidiately began to object, but MKL ignored him.

"Youko Kyuubi left to go check on his universe. He might return; might not. Depends on whether or not the Slayers, InuYasha, +Anima, and Twilight series are being nice to him."

"Why you gave him power over them as far as your stories are concerned, I will never know," Ararik grumbled rather childishly. MKL ignored him once more.

"For now, though, I have to post this before I get sent back to the Camp of Hell."

Ararik muttered something under his breath that MKL pointedly ignored again.

"Say goodbye to the readers, Ararik," she muttered, scrolling through the last Secret Ansem Report.

"Fine," he grumbled. "Goodbye, readers. Put up with this crap for a few more chapters and it'll get better. ...hopefully."

(Ararik's arrow to the review button:)

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	12. ROFL 10!

Story: ROFL Kingdom Hearts!

Notes: No plot line. Random updates. Enjoy!

( ) - ( ) - ( ) - ( )

MKL: So within the next few chapters, we're gunna bring in a character made by none other than Shinkutsuki, the person who wrote the first three chapters and came up with this whole idea! -grins-  
Ararik: -stares- ...you are aware that this is going to screw with the story line if you keep bringing in random characters, right?  
MKL: -blinks innocently- What story line?  
Ararik: -.- Good point.  
MKL: -snickers- Yeah, that's what I thought. So yeah, let's start, shall we? Sakuya, be prepared! It's going to be fun!

( ) - ( ) - ( ) - ( )

Sakuya shuddered in bed that night, eyes wide in terror at the vision of Ararik-kun and MKL-sama that she had just had. If she was reading between the lines correctly, the one coming to visit was none other than one of Ararik's ex-girlfriends (the only one he willingly dated, and the only one he went out with outside of a story), and that was NOT going to end well...

She shuddered again and Demyx stirred in his sleep, muttering something about chickens. She quietly jumped out of bed and glanced over her should only a moment before opening up a portal and stepping through, quickly closing it behind her.

In order to handle this one, Sakuya was going to need some major help.

( ) - ( ) - ( ) - ( )

"Aaaaaaah, where is she, where is she, WHERE IS SHE?!" Demyx wailed that following morning, running up and down the hallways...at four o'clock AM.

"Shut up, Demyx!" Marluxia snarled, throwing open his door and glaring at Demyx. Demyx paused and stiffled a snicker at the pink p.j.'s Marluxia wore, with yellow flowers all over them. Marluxia yawned and rubbed at his eye, glancing up and down the hallway and absently noting that no one else seemed to care the Water Whimp (MKL: -coos- Awww, poor Demy...just because Marli doesn't like you...!) was rushing around and desturbing their sleep. Then again, with who the neighbors were, he really shouldn't have been surprised.

"What's wrong?" Marluxia finally asked after a few moments, raising his hand and stiffling a yawn. Demyx half-sobbed and shook his head rapidly.

"It's my--" he began before cutting himself off. He cleared his throat and quickly re-worded the sentence. "A Heartless I was keeping as a pet! She got loose and I'm reeeeeeeeally worried!"

Marluxia blinked sleepily, tilting his head. "Uhhhh, what does that matter? We're all Nobodys--the only ones who would really need to worry were any intruders."

Demyx shook his head again. "No, I know that, but...if the Superior finds out about her, she might...she might..."

He choaked off and looked like he wanted to cry, causing Marluxia to shift uncomfortably. He was NOT good with tears...at all.

"Well, uh..." Marluxia began before cutting himself off, scratching the back of his head absently. He watched Demyx struggle to hold back tears for a few more moments before giving a rather annoyed sigh. "I'll be out to help in a minute."

"Thanks, Marli!" Demyx immidiately shouted with a grin, lunging to his feet and glomping the elder, pink-haired man. Marluxia glowered at him and shoved the blonde off.

"I'll help if you don't do that again."

Demyx grinned happily and saluted his agreement as Marluxia slowly closed the door to his room, breifly wondering exactly what the hell he had just gotten himself into...

( ) - ( ) - ( ) - ( )

Hallway

"So where was the last place you saw her, Demyx?" Marluxia asked, yawning again. Demyx sniffled.

"In my room," he admitted quietly, opening the door. Marluxia wasn't as surprised as he probably should have been to find the room was all different shades of blue with CDs, DVDs, and video games all over, not to mention the odd instrument and recording device. Actually, the only surprising thing was the bookshelf full of fancy books such as First To Die by James Paterson and a few books he apparently wrote himself.

Marluxia slowly arched an eyebrow and walked over to the bookshelf, pulling off a book by the name of Vincent: A Vampire's Story (MKL: -grins- Technically a ffVII story I'm planning to put up soon, but...) He opened the cover and read the flap, his other eyebrow raising to join the first as he glanced up at Demyx. "You wrote this?"

Demyx flushed a light red and nodded, scratching his nose in embaressment.

"Y-yeah," he admitted. "It was when I first got here. I...I haven't really had time lately to sit down, but...uh..."

Marluxia merely shrugged and put the book back. "Cool, I guess," he muttered reluctantly. He glanced at Demyx again and looked around. "So where, exactly, was the last place you saw her?"

"Right here," Demyx said, gently placing his hand on the spot on the pillow where Sakuya had been laying, fast asleep, at 12:45 the night before. Marluxia nodded and glanced down, frowning as he crouched next to the bed.

"...if we had Zexion's nose, we could trail her like that, but since we don't..." He mumbled something and then lifted his gaze, blue-green eyes narrowed a fraction.

"She disappeared into a Corridor of Darkness," Marluxia suddenly decided with a nod.

"How'd you figure that out?" Demyx asked, eyes wide. Marluxia gestured to a spot in the wall.

"There's a bit of a Darkness residue there." Demyx blinked and tilted his head, and sure enough, there was a touch of energy falling from the wall. "I'm thinking she needed food or something and wasn't going to wait for you to wake up to get it."

Demyx half-wailed again, shaking his head rapidly. "But Sakuya KNOWS I would take her out for food if she needed it! I told her so!"

Marluxia paused and frowned, then groaned and rolled his eyes. "Demyx, Heartless don't have the mental capacity to understand human speech," he muttered, hoping his words were helping. Judging by the way Demyx's eyes teared up, they weren't. "Ugh! Fine, let's keep looking. She might have come back to the castle after she ate..."

Demyx brightened and nodded happily. "Okay!" he chirped, following Marluxia out of the room as the pink-haired man groaned to himself.

It was STILL way too early to do this...!

"So where did you first meet the Heartless?" Marluxia questioned, glancing over his shoulder. Demyx paused and tilted his head, tapping his chin thoughtfully.

"Uh...it was...outside in front of the castle!" he decided, nodding once he was sure.

"Can you open a Corridor there?"

"Sure!" Demyx raised his hand and focused for a moment before opening a Corridor, letting Marluxia step through before following. They ended up in the cortyard in front of the castle, at which point in time Demyx led Marluxia to the crator where Sakuya had crashed down to the Planet. He gestured to the crator. "Right down there, in the middle!"

Marluxia oogled at the crator. "Since when has THIS been here?" he questioned. Demyx put a hand to his chin thoughtfully.

"Uh...yesterday morning," he admitted thoughtfully. He suddenly sniffed, tearing up again. "That's when I found her...!"

"Demyx, get a hold of yourself!" Marluxia hid his helplessness with anger and rolled his eyes. "Look, let's just head down there and make sure she's not returning to where she appeared, alright? Heartless tend to go to places they're familiar with."

Demyx sniffled, unwilling to tell Marluxia the truth, and simply nodded bleakly. Marluxia nodded in response and jumped into the hole, slidding down the side like he was snowboarding as Demyx followed. Marluxia landed perfectly, but then Demyx crashed into him and sent them both sprawling. Marluxia growled up at him.

"Get off, Demyx," he grunted, eyes narrowed dangerously. Demyx turned a nice shade of red and scrambled to his feet, reaching down to help Marluxia up.

"Uh, sorry," he muttered, scratching the side of his nose. Marluxia grunted in response and glanced around, frowning.

"...I don't see anything..." He suddenly paused and glanced at Demyx, tilting his head. "Hey, what kind of Heartless is she, anyway?"

Demyx stuttered and was about to respond, but before he could, there was an excited 'mew' from up above. His expression brightened and he glanced up.

"Sakuya?!" he called out excitedly. He lifted his hands and Sakuya jumped down, sending him stumbling back even as he laughed and nuzzled her head with his chin. "Oh thank Hearts you're okay!"

"Of course, silly!" Sakuya giggled, nuzzling him back. "Were ya worried about me?"

"Well yeah!" Demyx pouted and held her out at arm's length in front of him. "I woke up to go to the bathroom and you were gone! I didn't even have a note!"

Sakuya rolled her eyes. "Silly, that's just because I don't have opposable thumbs! If you were patient, I would've been back. I was only gone, like, three hours..."

"I was searching for two," Demyx muttered, blushing gently. Sakuya snickered and rolled her eyes before noticing the openly-staring Marluxia and slowly flushing behind her fur.

"Uh...Demy..." she muttered. Demyx blinked and pulled her back before turning around, noticing his mistake when he saw Marluxia giving him a weird look.

"What's that, where'd it come from, and why's it talking?" Marluxia asked slowly. Demyx laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head, bowing his head a fraction as he held Sakuya to his chest with his free arm.

"Oh, uh," he began to stutter slowly.

"I'm Sakuya, neko-goddess!" Sakuya chirped, grinning at Marluxia as her tails swished back and forth excitedly. "And you're Marluxia, Number Eleven!" She giggled at the look on his face. "You've got powers over plants, right?" Marluxia silently nodded, obviously still trying to wrap his mind around that. "That's really cool!"

"Wait, YOU'RE the neko-goddess?" he finally asked, shaking his head rapidly and giving her a disbeleiving look. Sakuya nodded rapidly as Marluxia put a hand to his head and groaned. "Oh...I wonder how Koto would react to this..."

Sakuya's ears perked up and she tilted her head. "Koto from Makai?" Marluxia nodded again. "Oh, so then you're--"

Marluxia interupted her, a thin blush appearing over his nose. "Yes."

Sakuya grinned at him and jumped from Demyx's arms, landing daintily in front of Marluxia. She bowed rather dramatically. "Wonderful to meet you, Youko-sama."

Marluxia shifted nervously and glanced to the side. "Uh, I'm not Youko anymore," he muttered. "I wasn't even Youko when I turned into a Nobody..."

"Oh, right!" Sakuya suddenly said, giggling as she rose from her bow. "You were Kurama, right?!"

"Or Shuichi, depending on who you asked..."

Sakuya nodded enthusiastically. "Well, either way, MKL-sama is really happy with everything you did for the kitsune!" At Marluxia's weird look, she went on. "I mean, you built up this huge reputation and everything...so..."

Marluxia lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. "I suppose..." he said, not sounding convinced. Sakuya merely grinned again.

"Okay, I'm lost," Demyx admitted, frowning. Sakuya glanced back at him a cooed gently.

"Don't worry, Demy," she chuckled. "You're not going to get a lot of connections I make."

Demyx seemed content with that answer as Sakuya jumped up onto his shoulder, settling against him and mewing happily. "So let's go back, 'kay?" she asked brightly. "I'm kinda hungry..."

"Sure," Demyx said, grinning again. He opened a Corridor of Darkness, then paused to glance over his shoulder at Marluxia, who seemed mildly uncomfortable. His grin widened and picked up Sakuya, setting her on the ground. "You go ahead, okay? I've got somethin' ta talk to Marli about."

Sakuya grinned and nodded enthusiastically, bounding into the portal. Demyx waited a few moments before turning to Marluxia, now smiling.

"Hey, um, I know you're not on the best of terms with Zexion right now, but...do ya wanna come with us?" At Marluxia's look, he quickly elaborated, now mildly embaressed. "I mean, I wanna thank you for helpin' me to find Sakuya, and I, uh...well, Sakuya seems ta know your Somebody, so I'm sure she would like it if you hung out with us today..."

Marluxia smirked and nodded. "I guess I can hang out for a while," he said, acting aloof despite the fact that he was secretly estatic. He could probe the mind of a goddess of the Universe, and if he could figure out what he needed, he might be able to find out his own plan for the Organization...

Demyx grinned again and nodded, walking into the portal with Marluxia not far behind.

They walked into chaos.

"Hey, pass the salt, will ya?!" Axel called from the stove, glancing over his shoulder. Roxas rolled his eyes and tossed it to him, Axel easily catching it. Please take the time to note that Axel was wearing a hot pink apron that said, "Don't laugh. This is your girlfriend's apron".

"Axel, what the hell is this?" Larxene groaned from the table, arching an eyebrow and poking a peice of something charred behind recognition on her plate. It gurgled at her and began to crawl away, causing her to squeel in alarm and jump to her feet. Axel merely grinned.

"My specialty--"

"The Living Burnt Pancake of Doom?" Sakuya offered from on top of Zexion's head, tilting her own head in confusion. Axel blinked and glanced back at her.

"How'd you know that?" he asked stupidly. Sakuya pretended not to hear him.

"He's going to kill us all," Zexion muttered, poking his own concoction with a spork. It seemed more enthusiastic than Larxene's and swallowed Zexion's plastic spork. Zexion slowly arched an eyebrow and summoned his Lexicon, taking notes. "Fancinating..."

"Zexion, you have a weird sense of humor," Naminé said, giving him a weird look. Zexion gave her a blank expression in return, glancing up from his Lexicon as the concoction began to swallow his plate.

"Humor? Naminé, this is not humor. This is SCIENCE."

"Fine, then you have a weird sense of science," Roxas snorted, smashing Zexion's concoction with his Oblivion Keyblade and watching as it cried out in pain, making a sound that sounded suspiciously like 'Mommmmyyyyyy!!'. It fell still and Roxas poked it once to make sure before deciding he was satisfied and dismissing Oblivion, ignoring Zexion's angry look.

"What the hell?" Marluxia asked with a blink. He was ignored.

"Order up for Naminé!" Axel said with a grin, holding out another plate. This concoction was bubbling and making roaring sound that should not have been so loud coming from something so small.

"Uh, no thank you," she quickly said, sweatdropping in her horror. Axel shrugged and then seemed to notice Demyx and Marluxia, at which point in time he grinned.

"Oh, hey, Demy! Marls!" He held up the plate to them and his grin widened. "Want some?"

"I, uh, already ate, thanks," Demyx said with a sweatdrop. And who could blame him, since the concoction appeared ready to try and bite off Axel's hand.

"As did I!" Marluxia offered, sweatdropping along with Demyx. Axel shrugged again.

"Your loss," he decided, lifting a finger and pointing it at the concoction when it tried to eat his arm. He lit it on fire and it let out a dieing scream of pain before becoming still, at which point in time he grabbed a fork and dug in. Everyone watched with horror as he bit into it and grinned around his mouthful of food. "Mmmmmm, 's gwoud..."

"Okay, that's just nasty," Sakuya decided, looking disgusted. Everyone (with the exception of Axel) nodded their agreement with various expressions of disgust/horror on their face. Larxene (who had turned green) completely fled the room, and a moment later, they could hear retching sounds from the bathroom nextdoor. Naminé and Demyx looked like they wanted to join her, but decided against it.

"Axel, uh, what's in this, exactly?" Sakuya decided to chance asking, looking green under her fur. Axel blinked around a mouthful of food and swallowed it, shrugging.

"Well, salt, and maple syrup, and chocolate chips, and cookie dough, and sprinkles on top...and I think I threw in there some extra sugar and cooked it for a bit longer than it was supposed to, but otherwise..." he listed, looking thoughtful. The only sound was from Larxene's forgotten food, which gurgled in the corner. Sakuya quickly set it on fire and caused it to die, although it did not scream like its "friends". It merely opened a single black "eye" and glared at her as it slowly disappeared.

"I think I'll make some waffles for the rest of us," Marluxia decided, inching his way around the table and walking over to the kitchen. He 'gently' (not) shoved Axel out of the way and began to grab ingredients, muttering to himself about 'amature chefs' before beginning. Everyone watched in shock as he expertly flipped, stirred, and cooked to perfection, producing a plate full of perfectly-prepared waffles in less than ten minutes. Larxene returned sometime during that and was equally shocked, although Sakuya mewed happily, not bothering to use words as Marluxia brought the plate over to the table and set it down.

"Wow, those look good!" Demyx said, looking excited. Marluxia smirked and nodded, turning back to the kitchen and grabbing a smaller plate, putting the last waffle on it and topping it with strawberries and maple syrup before placing it on the ground for Sakuya. She grinned her thanks and then abruptly dug in.

"Wow, they ARE good!" Larxene added brightly as she dug in. She glanced up at Marluxia curiously as he watched them dig in, looking vaguely smug. "How'd ya learn how to cook like that?"

Marluxia paused for an instant before shrugging. "My Somebody's mother was in the hospital for a few months, and when she got back, she was so weak I had to make meals for the both of us," he said, blushing slightly and scratching the side of his nose as he stared up at the ceiling. "I was alone in the house for a long time, so I guess I had time to perfect everything..."

"While staying top of your class and going to visit your mother for hours on end!" Sakuya added perkily, grinning as she looked up from her now-cleaned plate. She had a single dab of strawberry juice on the tip of her nose as she sat down, licking her paws and cleaning herself off. She glanced up with another grin after cleaning off her face. "Super genious, I tell ya!"

Marluxia's blush deepened as everyone turned to stare at him. "Nothing that dramatic. Besides, I had...help."

Sakuya chuckled and nodded her agreement as Marluxia stared off into space, frowning a bit at his own thoughts. There was no more talk until breakfast was over.

"So, what should we do today?" Roxas asked boredly when everyone was finished.

"Xigbar probably has missions for us," Axel muttered dejectedly, frowning down at his empty plate. All he had eaten was "The Living Burnt Pancake of Doom", but he didn't seem to mind, so no one said anything. "We've all been on leave for so long..."

"How right you are!" a voice suddenly said from overhead. Everyone jerked (a few people face-faulted) as Xigbar dropped down from the ceiling, grinning stupidly and nodding. "Hiya, guys. An' how're WE doin' taday?"

"Not very well, since we have missions," Zexion muttered, obviously annoyed. Xigbar's grin widened and he waggled his finger at Zexion.

"Hey, Iz, don't be down!" Zexion shot Xigbar an annoyed look at his old nickname, but Xigbar pretended not to notice. "Anyway, only a few a ya've got missions. I managed ta work it so most a ya would be able ta hang with Sakuya."

"Wow, thanks, Koga!" Sakuya said brightly, jumping up to sit on his head. He lifted his gaze and grinned.

"Sure thing, Kirara!"

Sakuya chuckled and shook her head as Marluxia and Axel watched in confusion, being the only two not to understand a thing they were refering to. Xigbar quickly went on and handed out folders.

"'Kay, so today, we got Saïx," he opened up a portal in the air and shoved the folder through, closing it just as a curse flew through the portal, "Lux," he opened another portal, a groan being heard from the other side, "Aels," no sound came with the exception of a snort, "Dil," a muttered curse, "Ev," a blast of cold air and a loud, complaining voice which was quickly cut off, "me," he pouted to himself and gave them a look that showed that they should probably be appreciative, "and Rox."

"Wait, why me?" Roxas grumbled. Xigbar chuckled and reached over, ruffling the lowest number's hair and handing over the folder.

"'Cause yer th' newest member an' need a lotta missions ta catch up ta th' rest a us," Xigbar said with a knowing grin. Roxas mumbled something under his breath and quickly "straightened" his hair. Xigbar bowed at the rest of the group, causing Sakuya to jump into Demyx's arms. "An' now I must bid ya, later!"

And with that, he disappeared.

"Has he always been this theatrical?" Larxene asked Sakuya dryly. The neko grinned.

"Actually, he used to be worse," she chuckled. "He was big on making dramatic enterences and fighting with as much flair as possible, and he tended to show off more in front of Kagome, the human he liked and wanted to be his, erm, mate, and he was so fast he created these whirlwinds when he ran that blew most of our group into whatever happened to be in our way."

"Really?" Roxas asked, blinking once as he glanced up from his folder. Sakuya snickered and nodded.

"Yep!"

"See ya later, Rox?" Axel asked with a grin. Roxas rolled his eyes and stood up.

"No duh," he said, smirking. "I'm not gunna just abandon ya, Ax. 'Kay?"

Axel chuckled. "I know."

And with that, Roxas nodded his goodbye to everyone and left.

At "'Kay", Sakuya's grin fell and her ears suddenly drooped, as did her tails. She watched silently as Roxas left, whimpering quietly a moment later.

"Somethin' wrong, Sakuya?" Zexion asked, arching an eyebrow. Sakuya immidiately forced a smile and shook her head as enthusiastically as she could, unaware that her tails and ears were still droooping.

"Nope!" she 'assured' him with a grin. "Don't worry--I'm fine."

Zexion and the others looked suspcious, but then Demyx remembered Ararik's warning before he left. _"Try not to let the others press her for information,"_ the multi-tailed wolf had muttered. _"She knows much more than any of you about both the past and the future, and she is forbidden from revealing it. If she does so without MKL-sama's permision...well..."_

"Okay then!" Demyx interupted any attempts to press Sakuya for information. The neko-goddess glanced up at him with a blink and blue eyes locked with red/blue. Demyx gave her a pointed look as he continued to smile and went on. "So, what do YOU think we should do today, Sakuya?"

Sakuya blinked once more before grinning and giving him a thankful look, glancing at the rest of the room's occupents. They were all looking at her expectantly.

"Well, I've got this friend who specializes in dimention hopping," she said slowly, lifting a paw and holding it to her chin in a thinking position. The others all exchanged looks as she went on, grinning brightly. "And there's this really awesome place I think you guys'd have fun visiting!"

"Without Roxas?" Naminé asked, sounding vaguely forlorn. Sakuya glanced at Demyx and Marluxia for help, which they readily gave.

"If it's the realm I'm thinking of, Roxas wouldn't like it there," Marluxia interupted. Sakuya grinned and nodded enthusiastically.

"Maybe it's for the better," Demyx added. "After all, since he's kinda startin' to regain the memories of his life as a Somebody..."

"Ah, that sucks," Larxene said with a frown. "I remember that." She shuddered. "Not pleasent."

"I'm inclined to agree," Zexion said dryly, remembering his own experience long before anyone else's.

"Anyway!" Sakuya interupted the brooding thoughts, grinning, "if my suspicion's right, there's a few people here who might have a ball fightin' evil creatures that wanna tear ya to shreads and meetin' the ORIGINALS of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Commity, with the exception of Merlin and potentionally Leon..."

"Their originals?" Naminé asked, tilting her head in confusion. Sakuya's grin widened and she nodded.

"It's sorta like DiZ's realm." At their continued confused looks, Sakuya pouted. "Okay, so, the people in this dimention's Hollow Bastion are based off of peoples from another realm, called Gaia, with the exceptions of Merlin and Leon. It's gunna be fun ta visit. Also," she casted a sly look over in the direction of Axel, Zexion, and Larxene, "some people here might have counterparts there."

"Really?" Zexion asked, sounding interested. "Hmmm..."

"Sounds like fun!" Demyx chirped. Marluxia nodded his silent agreement.

"Sure, I'm game," Axel said with a grin.

"Why not?" Larxene asked rhetorically, giving a grin. "I'm curious about who's there who we know."

"...okay," Naminé finally said, smiling brightly as she closed her eyes and nodded, "just so long as we're back by the time Roxas is!"

"Dimention times work totally differently," Sakuya assured her with a grin. "Once my friend twists dimentional holes into the fabric of the universes, he can make it so one day here can equal up to three weeks there!"

"Sweet!" Demyx said with a grin.

"Can you get him now?" Zexion asked, obviously interested. Sakuya's grin widened as she gave another nod.

"Yep! He was the one I was visiting this morning," she added to Demyx and Marluxia. Demyx flushed gently and muttered something under his breath as Marluxia merely gave her an amused look. Sakuya quickly turned around and opened a Corridor of Darkness flashing gently with silver, blue, and light pink lightening. She glanced over her shoulder and gave a wave of her paw goodbye before disappearing from sight, leaving the portal to gently close behind her.

This was going to get interesting...

( ) - ( ) - ( ) - ( )

"She's going to tear about the fabric of space and time?!" Ararik squawked. MKL rolled her eyes at him, scanning a Sylphiel/Kopii Rezo story by Aloria.

"Geesh, Ararik-san, you act as though we don't do that every day for crossovers," she chuckled. Ararik fumed and glared at her.

"That's different. We use disposable dimentions for that. However, this is THE REAL DEAL! If we screw something up here--"

"We can always erase their memories again."

"Because that worked out so well last time," Ararik said dryly, folding his arms over his chest. Rather abruptly, a pair of hands tipped with sharp black claws were wrapped around his neck and his back was thrown against the wall with such force he coughed up a mouthful of blood upon impact, clawing at the hands that held him. MKL glowered at him, eyes burning a feirce, bloodthursty red instead of their usual calm purple-gold.

"Ararik-teme, I have had it up to my ears with your attitude," she growled. Her grip on his neck tightened and his own eyes widened as he suddenly phased into his tailed beast form, whimpering sadly. "BA and Sakuya might find it amusing and even attractive, but after nearly a year of hearing it, I am starting to loose my patience."

Ararik jerked in her grip and twisted his head to the side, continuing to whimper. MKL suddenly seemed to realize what she was doing and gasped, eyes going wide (and purple-gold) as she let go of him and allowed him to fall to the ground, fading back to his human form and coughing. "Zohmypie, Ararik-san, I am SO sorry! I...I...!"

"I-it's f-f-fine," Ararik managed to stammer, wincing as he rubbed at his throat. He waited a few moments for the damage to repair itself before nodding at her. "I get it. As your oldest muse, I guess I should try and act more mature, huh?"

He struggled to crack a smile at that and MKL managed a soft smile of her own, reaching down with a helping hand. He grabbed it greatfully and she hauled him to his feet. "Then you're okay?" she asked quietly. Ararik merely smirked.

"It takes more than a simple choaking to kill me, MKL-sama."

MKL chuckled and nodded. "I suppose so." She paused. "Then maybe you should dismiss us, eh, Ararik...chan?"

Ararik arched an eyebrow at that. Well, it was a girl's title, but it was better than -san (which was basically 'mister') or -teme ('bastard'), so...

"Yeah, sure," he said, managing a smile. He quickly scowled and turned to the audience. "So yeah, any problems, contact us. We could use an OC coming up, one that's not a neko, or if someone other than Polish or Shinkutsuki wants to change the race of their demons...well..."

"It'd work!" MKL said brightly. She waved. "So we've gotta go. I'm going back to the Camp of Hell soon, so...yeah. Ararik?"

Ararik shrugged and drew the arrow to the review button, as seen below.

"Later!" MKL added as Ararik said, "Bye."

And with that, they both disappeared once more.

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	13. ROFL FINALish NOTE!

hiya everyone! yes, i know, shocking that you got an alert for this story, haha. unfortunately it's not a new chapter. well...kinda.

y'see, a new author has kindly continued this story! "organizationsgirl" has put up the next chapter on their own account. i've already checked it out, and it seems the writing style is similar to the original story. so if you truly enjoyted the first three chapters, go check it out! promise it'll be interesting and fun! ^.^

well that's it from me. the mantle of "ROFL Kingdom Hearts!" isn't yet done. enjoy everyone and remember: never steal vexen's cookies! :D

-MKL, signing out.

"Any sound can shake the air. My voice shakes the heart." -Sho Minamimoto, The World Ends With You (NDS)


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